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Confession
Why am I dissatisfied with truth,
with what is good?
Why do I always falter,
desiring what is wrong?
Why, when I have remembered God and just begun to restrain my mind, body and soul to be content with his ways, do I go astray?
Not even a day goes by and already, destruction lulls me to sleep or leads me in sinful directions, far off the straight path.
When I am sick or in pain, or have tasted guilt and shame, I lay on my bed and plea for Mercy.
I confess, I repent, I agree with his Word and his way and I am comforted.
Yet not long after,
my flesh is set aflame.
My tongue speaks folly, my hands go idle,
my soul is downcast as it envies all that threatens to destroy me.
my stomach desires to be filled with poisons,
my lungs yearn to be charred by the smoke of burnt things,
my eyes see what is impure,
what I hear offends me.
Yet it's as if I yearn for the same things I detest.
Deception. Disobedience. Folly. Gluttony.
A taste turns into an abominable pit yearning to devour, to swallow up everything within my reach.
My eyes can't see enough and yet dull themselves blind and bleak,
my mind plays infinite tricks, songs, ideas, yearnings and memories.
I want to be perfectly imperfect,
knowing all that is;
experienced.
But thank God for Discernment,
his Spirit which reminds, reveals and teaches all things, restraining my Greed which seeks to destroy me.
Sometimes nothing but his presence is more than enough,
sometimes everything under the Sun doesn't suffice or satisfy my wicked heart's cravings.
I am inflamed, my bones ache with fiery pain. my teeth rot. my heart pinches and tightens, my lungs sigh and weeze, because I need to breathe more than just the breeze.
I want to vomit up what I consume,
and yet I throw away his blessing by rejecting his works which I am too lazy and afraid to do.
The Flesh is indeed a weak and vile thing,
Please God, have Mercy on a no good, filthy Sinner such as me.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 NIV
[9] The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? [10] “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”
Please, give me the strength to endure trials, to resist temptation, to Love and seek Peace, to know Joy. Restrain my mind, guard my heart, restore in me a right spirit, so that I may do what it is you have called me to do, so that I may live for you.
In You is Life and Peace, all that I find in me is wickedness continually.
with what is good?
Why do I always falter,
desiring what is wrong?
Why, when I have remembered God and just begun to restrain my mind, body and soul to be content with his ways, do I go astray?
Not even a day goes by and already, destruction lulls me to sleep or leads me in sinful directions, far off the straight path.
When I am sick or in pain, or have tasted guilt and shame, I lay on my bed and plea for Mercy.
I confess, I repent, I agree with his Word and his way and I am comforted.
Yet not long after,
my flesh is set aflame.
My tongue speaks folly, my hands go idle,
my soul is downcast as it envies all that threatens to destroy me.
my stomach desires to be filled with poisons,
my lungs yearn to be charred by the smoke of burnt things,
my eyes see what is impure,
what I hear offends me.
Yet it's as if I yearn for the same things I detest.
Deception. Disobedience. Folly. Gluttony.
A taste turns into an abominable pit yearning to devour, to swallow up everything within my reach.
My eyes can't see enough and yet dull themselves blind and bleak,
my mind plays infinite tricks, songs, ideas, yearnings and memories.
I want to be perfectly imperfect,
knowing all that is;
experienced.
But thank God for Discernment,
his Spirit which reminds, reveals and teaches all things, restraining my Greed which seeks to destroy me.
Sometimes nothing but his presence is more than enough,
sometimes everything under the Sun doesn't suffice or satisfy my wicked heart's cravings.
I am inflamed, my bones ache with fiery pain. my teeth rot. my heart pinches and tightens, my lungs sigh and weeze, because I need to breathe more than just the breeze.
I want to vomit up what I consume,
and yet I throw away his blessing by rejecting his works which I am too lazy and afraid to do.
The Flesh is indeed a weak and vile thing,
Please God, have Mercy on a no good, filthy Sinner such as me.
Jeremiah 17:9-10 NIV
[9] The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? [10] “I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward each person according to their conduct, according to what their deeds deserve.”
Please, give me the strength to endure trials, to resist temptation, to Love and seek Peace, to know Joy. Restrain my mind, guard my heart, restore in me a right spirit, so that I may do what it is you have called me to do, so that I may live for you.
In You is Life and Peace, all that I find in me is wickedness continually.
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