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Last letter

No one can be happy all of the time
But for me never again can I find happiness
And every day is a struggle for survival
A lonely man with pain and loneliness.

I try to find some kind of understanding in the world
But there are no time outs for my situation
And every second that goes by
I am sinking deeper into depression

Then one night a few years ago the sun shined on me
And the hope of love and happiness came
And a bright future seems reachable
But to that sunshine" my love was just a game

Because she just played with my heart
And made me fall madly in love
And I couldn't see that she was just a seed
And not an angel from above

She just disappeared one day
And took my heart with her
And she just hang it out to fade
And I couldn't  go on without her

And my life becomes overridden with pain
And my soul accepts the suffering that arrives
And no matter how hard I try to fight it
My mind is saying to leave this life

Because love is a powerful universal emotion
That every one of us so dearly seeks
And love can make our life whole and complete
And when we don’t get love our will to survive becomes weak

Trying to live with depression was hard enough for me before
But now knowing that I have found love that I couldn’t save
It’s just more than I can take right now
And the grim reaper is calling me to the grave

Yes I do have the love of all my family
But family love is a complexly different kind of love
It could never protect you with any comfort
When you are hurt by the girl that you dreams of

And just the thought of someone else holding her and making love to her is just too much to comprehend
Knowing that she was the one to be your future wife
I just could not take that pain again
So please forgive me, god as I plan to bring an end to my life

People will say what a fool he was to do that
No woman is worth for you to die for
But it’s easy to say that because they don’t know
How much I truly loved her and are hurting for her

and every second living without her
it's just too much pain, too much pain
without her voice, her touch, her smell
Her face plays like a movie in my brain

Suicide thoughts are buried deep into my mind
And every day is coming closer to the end
And I will give in for my mind now controls me
And very soon it will be fulfilled, but no one knows when
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