Some days I feel bulletproof
Maybe even indestructible
But most days I feel broken down
It feels like everything is my fault
Like everything I do is so wrong
How do I make this all okay again?
My head is fighting itself on all
All I want to do is curl up
All I want to do is cry my eyes out
But I don't even really know why
I don't have a clue as to what I'm doing
With anything that I see or even feel
What am I really supposed to feel?
I'm sitting with tears in my eyes
I'm tired of my own mind and thoughts
Who am I going to become?
Because I need to find something, anything
I'm searching for myself
Searching for my own answers
I'm maddened by my own insecurities
By my own tired thoughts
I've forbidden myself from crying
But I know everyone needs a good cry
I'm tired of pretending to be strong
I'm so much weaker than I seem
My headache is coming back
My nausea is the worst it's been in ages
Wish me luck because I'm going to need it
All of the luck I can possibly get
I can't listen to myself right now
The voices are back
The visions are terrifying
I just want it all to stop
I want my mind to calm
To see what really is there
To think normal thoughts
I'm kicking myself for feeling like I do
And I'm screaming on the inside
I don't know what I believe in
But I know it isn't myself
I don't know how to be myself
Because I don't know who that really even is
What am I supposed to be?
Because I feel like nothing will ever change for the better in me


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