Do I still believe?
It's easy to say that I don't believe
I've rejected all teachings of a Bible
As if I ever even read it in the first place
The word of God stands out to me
But only because it lacks action
God's love is not something I seek for
My love would be misplaced
What kind of God lets his followers die?
What kind of God lets his followers suffer?
I am not a follower of God
And not much harm has come my way
But that's the problem
He rapes the woman who follow him
By using the people he's created
Humanity
The world's poison
His greatest creation
And his greatest failure
Yet the victims still seek his grace
He starves the children who sit next to his table
One so full of food
But their bones are the most prominent feature
And they still seek his grace
I've never been hungry
Only had to eat the same meal
I've never been raped
But humanity has scarred my eyes more than once
Because of God
Because God has failed us
Or he simply doesn't exist

But there is in fact a creator
The creator
God
Just as he allows misfortune to fall upon is
He allows us to grow and learn from it
It's funny, we seek him in our darkest times
But we sometimes don't acknowledge
Just how badly we need him
I don't believe in God
I curse his name and everything it stands for
For what he's brought upon my family
For what he's brought upon my friends
I will accept anyone's belief of his God
Or any god as a matter of fact
But I myself? I spit on his name
I don't believe in a religioun
To me it sounds like someone wanted to give hope
And it turned into a massive trend to believe
To believe in something so foolish
But In truth, I am the biggest fool
I judge religion harshly
Yet I'm took ignorant to study the teachings
To look for the slightest bit of proof
I'm a fool, one to bitter to understand
The true beauty of hope
And everlasting peace and security
God isn't real to me
But he also is
How can I curse a name of a man
And say I don't believe in him
If I am also acknowledging the existence of that said man
Religion is fading inside my head
And it does within my heart
But if I want to believe
I can revive my beliefs
Or change my attitude
But I must be willing to accept
And as of right now the time isn't right
Not yet, but someday soon
Maybe I'll spread the word myself
Or dive into all religions
There's something so sinister about locking oneself away from knowledge
But the concept of all religions
And the ability to choose which is rightfully mine no matter where I come from
Truly is a fascinating thing to discover
Maybe in my own way, I do believe in the God's
Maybe they're all real and testing us
Or maybe they are all one man
Testing which teachings is true to us humans
I heard a man ask another "when do people see God"
And the religious man replied
"You see God when you're ready to him"
I am not yet ready
But I'd like to be someday

© Aries Andino