It's the little things, they say, like the chocolate
you bring me from the store,
even when I said 'No thanks,
I don't need anything more.'
Or when you turn up the radio
for a Phil Collins song
even though you're not a fan but
you know it won't take long
and you know it brings me
back sweet memories
and you like me to reminisce about these.
After 15 years you still make me laugh
even when I don't want to. You always have
a way of brightening up my day
and making everything okay.

When others ask me why we split
I never have a good answer to it.
'He's such a great guy,' they say,
'hardworking, funny and reliable in every way.'
There wasn't that one big thing
that tore us apart.
It was the little things that broke my heart.

My friends and hobbies
didn't interest you much
but we had other things in common as such.
You were jealous and always
wanted to know where I was
but that wasn't a reason to break up for us.
You weren't great at giving compliments
and used to make fun of emotional moments.
But that's just who you are and you showed
your love in other ways
and still gave me reasons
in spite of everything to stay.

Leaving the laundry or your
paper chaos around,
your beard hair in the sink,
your shoes on the ground -
compared to everything we've been through
these were just small things, nothing new.

And the message I got on my birthday
with a compliment that made my day,
it wasn't a big deal. Not even for you
a reason to feel jealous or insecure.
I read the message to you and said 'Well,
look - other men think I'm a bombshell.'
It would've been nice to hear you say
'Yes, he's right, you're great in every way.'
But as usual you just gave it a laugh,
joking 'He doesn't know you well enough.'

It wasn't the big things that tore us apart,
not even your affair with another
that broke my heart.
Not my depression or you often
not being home
and leaving me with the kids alone.
Not the challenges of our children's disease,
or the trouble that entails a patchwork family.

We overcame those big things,
we thought we were strong,
but all the little things proved us wrong.
It needed no big thing for us to break,
there was nothing more that I could take.

In the end it was the little things that mattered.
And now we're left with a love that's shattered.


© SunflowerPoetry