I've been to the mountain and I've seen the view
That dazzles, seduces, and awes.
And I've lived in the valley, experienced the stillness
That lulls, beckons, and draws.
But I've never achieved the middle ground,
Though I'm told it's really the best.
My life seems to be just peaks and valleys,
Euphoria followed by tests.

I've searched for life's meaning on many a path,
Learned from wise men as well as fools.
I've examined their guidelines, considered their dogma,
And eventually rejected their rules.
But I've never been able, in all of these years,
To find a path I could truly call mine.
So I'm forever unable to sate my desire
To make sense of my life and my times.

I've been desired, pursued, and admired,
Held hostage, controlled and ignored.
And I've experienced it all, without exception,
As a soul prematurely bored.
I've never come close to the love I am seeking,
Unconditional, freely given, sublime.
Perhaps it's been there, unseen or unnoticed,
Obscured by a closed paradigm.

Throughout my life I've yearned to be part of
God's rhythm, His flow, and His rhyme.
And I've actually achieved a few sacred moments
Of true serenity and peace of mind.
But for every serene thought in my mind,
There is doubt and mistrust
running parallel.
So I fervently yearn for heaven,
While paradoxically, I seek only hell.
© Linda Troxell