Wasted away, thinking.
Wasted away, talking.
Wasted away, not talking.
Wasted away, just waiting.
No matter what I do, everything is still empty inside.

I try to follow the advice I get.

“Keep your mind on things positive” My therapist says, “it’ll get better.”

But my mind is like a vast black, blank page. It can’t seem to think on “something positive.” It can’t seem to think on anything at all.

It’s wasting away, like my life is.

Going through my routine daily, meeting people when I should, but I don’t connect. I’m just moving, barely existing talk less of living.

What happened? I don’t know. It has been like this for a while.

Then I hear them, the silent screams. Louder and louder, I want to scream too. I guess it’ll help but instead I just stare at my cup of coffee as I sit alone on my dining table.

“What happened?” for the first time I hear my blank mind, as it whispers those words over and over again,
“What happened?”

Thoughts maybe, they feel strange. It’s been a long time I heard my mind speak. I pay attention, maybe it’ll say...