not sure how to transition from she is trying to get him psychological help to considering marrying him.
She had come to my church for a couple of months. I did not know much about her. She introduced herself as kate. She was well dressed. She seemed pleased She made faces at them. my kids.
One night she came up to me. "Hi, pastor." She said. "Hello, Katie. " I said. "Do you want to go? out for cofee after church tonight?" She asked. "Sure. " I said.
Was she asking me to ask? It was us and the kids so maybe not. I kinda liked her. She was attractive. She carried herself well. She was confident but not. cocky. she was a car person. She seemed to. know what to do.do as when to.do.it. she seemed like she would make a good wife. Perhaps I was getting ahead of myself.
"Do you want us to go in separate cars or take the van?" I asked. "We can go in separate vehicles." She said. "Sure. I usually greet people on their way out then we can go." I said." of course," she said.
I greeted people on their way out as usually did. I was excited about the excursion. I had not gone out much since my wife died. She was the only person I had dated. We did not date in a classical sense. We mostly went out in groups or at college or our parent's house. Our courtship was fairly limited.
I was not sure this was a date. I was pretty sure that it was not. A part of me wanted it to be a date. I wanted that. After everyone had left we went to our cars. We headed out. I was nervous. What if I was wrong? What if it was not romantic? I figured if she wanted to talk to me in my official capacity she would have scheduled an appointment.
I parked next to her. She helped me get the kids out. She picked up my youngest Nina. She also helped get Macey out. I helped casey get out. We all walked inside.
She watched the kids while I got the cofee and donuts. I went to the table. I distributed the coffee and donuts. I sat down.
"So I feel like I don't know you. Where are you from?" I asked. "I grew up on the other coast. I came to this site for college. I went to Colorado Christian then came to the university here for my post-graduate work. " she said.
"What do you do for work? " I.asked. "I am a psychologist," she said. "Oh. " I said. "That is why I wanted to talk to you. I have some concerns about you!" She said. I was a bit taken aback. "In what way?" I asked. I got a bit defensive. My shields went up a bit. "You are showing signs of depression. You seem withdrawn. Some of the things you have said have sent red flags in me." She said.
"Well, I don't know about being depressed but losing my wife has taken a toll on me. How could it not? I am raising three kids on my own. The World is spinning out of control. The bible is out of season. There are attacks on the word of God on all sides. It gets to me. I miss my wife deeply. " i said.
"It's very understandable. This is not a critique it is a concern. Are you seeing anyone?" She asked. "My dad counseled me extensively when it first happened. We still talk but not as often." I said. "If you want to talk to someone professionally I could recommend someone. I know you might be reluctant to consult a psychologist but I know some who are strong Christians and go at it from a biblical worldview," she said.
"I would rather not consult with a psychologist. I have objections to that." I said. "I figured. I think you should talk to someone. Have you considered harming yourself?" She asked. "No, I have not. " I said. "Would you tell me if you did?" She asked. "Yes, I would. " I said.
"You have a massive storm cloud around you. I understand with everything going on. I do not blame you. You should not go to it alone. " she said. "I see what you are saying. I do not want to go with the professional route. " I said.
"I respect that. You doing too much too fast. You're overwhelming yourself. " she said. "Perhaps. I do tend to overdo things. " I said. "I figured. "She said.
I have to admit I was disappointed. I hoped that she was interested in me romantically. I had no idea how a baptist pastor and a psychologist would mesh or if they could. She was a pleasant person. I had no idea. She could have a boyfriend. You never know.
After a while, we decided to pack it in. She picks up Nina. I got casey and mace. We walked out together. She helped me get the kids into the van. " if you do want to talk to a professional, I can set you up with someone. "She said. " I will keep that in mind. "I said. " you have no intention of talking to a professional do you?" Hse asked. "Not really. " I said."you are stubborn aren't you?" She asked."a little bit." i said.
We agreed to let it go there. We said good night. We went our separate ways. I went home. The kids got ready for bed. I read them a Bible story. They fell asleep. I went downstairs. I hung out in the living room for a bit.
The next day I called her. "Hi is this Katie?" I asked. "Yes it is," she said. "It's matt. The pastor." I said. "Hi pastor," she said. "Kate, would you consider a relationship with me?" I asked."i am stunned. Are you serious about this?" She asked. "Yes, I am serious about this. " I said.
"Well, I would be willing to consider it. I am kind of surprised. I am not sure I am your type. " she said. "I am not sure what my type is. I loved leane. I don't want to mary someone just like her. I don't want to replace her. I want a godly lady. Someone with her values but not her. " I said.
"That makes sense. Most guys are intimidated by me," she said. "I am a bit intimidated by you but that is not going to stop me from pursuing you. " I admitted. She chuckled and said "ok." She said.
"I have to admit I am intrigued. It has been a while since I dated. I am a little out of practice. " she said. "I am as well. " I admitted.