Here i stand and look towards you.... staring hesitantly at the path that's laid out for me....visualizing and contemplating the continual fighting i must do....body shaking, trembling, searching for answers on ways to avoid you or keep you suppressed within or even overcome you........I've been fighting this battle for years the very thought of you makes me quake in fear... if i were to give in and allow you to win what will that make of me....what will people think of me...Fighting is all i have ever done and slowly the storms you have plagued on to me are taking its toll...the lies you spew...yet still i believe...convincing me that my family is ashamed of me, disappointed in me, better off without me, but even so continually i stand and press on even though i feel the lords presence and those of my family has left me or at least that's how you have made me feel....i cling to the imagination that he still believes in me or that i still believe in him or maybe that i still believe in myself....i push on but with every step there is an obstacle i must leap over and overcome....its a battle sometimes that i cannot win knocking me down and flashing visions of me ending my time here...showing me a dream or visions of me stealing my fathers shotgun and blowing my brains out in front of my mother and as she drapes over my body horrified by what i had done and asking why my apparition just floats next to her smiling as if to say my pain, my suffering, my war had all been relieved,  and so i stay defeated laying there replaying that dream till finally i build up the courage to get up once more and wake saying enough is enough...i dust myself off as to clear the darkness that had overcame me... i stare at you again head held high praying that one day i can finally win...THE BATTLE WITHIN
© Kryptic