after your death I hated the word why, first I was angry at everyone who asked me the question why did he do that then I started asking the same question why and I also added how because when I tried doing it 2 times I just couldn’t let the razor through my veins it was painful, you must have felt so lonely, cuz you succeeded in one attempt
it’s to late to ask the question why but know I didn’t fail on the how part here I come my brother. that was the note i found when my sister committed suicidal after my brother died I failed twice I couldn’t save the two persons that meant the world to me know look at me crying and blaming my self all day trying to find the answer for why but my sister was right we can’t get an answer for the question why when the person you want to ask is not even here the only thing that my sister did mention is that you can’t get the answers in words but you can feel it cuz I’m feeling all the pain know the tiredness and loneliness, waking up with a heavy heart all day and a mind full of thoughts that doesn’t even make a sense is way harder and people they don’t even try to understand you they will just think you are a mess and will leave you but I got my answer after all the pain is not physical but trust me it’s worse than that my siblings committed suicidal cuz they want to end the pain that no one understands they want to rest cuz they were so tired but one thing they didn’t understand is that they didn’t end it the just transferred it to us. for the question how I don’t want to know the answer because if I tried to know it I will end up doing it and my little brother I don’t think he have the strength to deal with 3 losses so for know let’s not try to find an answer for how.
© All Rights Reserved