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Through the voice of an Idle.
Everybody puts themselves in troubles. And it's okay. Because causing trouble is one of the things that differentiate humans from others. So we can. But to me, having troubles are like getting dressed for a function. They visit me often. From this you might think that I live with a bunch of trouble makers. Actually that is not true. In fact I live with people who have hundred karat hall marked characters. Then who escalates the problems in my life? I think it's time to get to know that person.
The one and only me. Yes I am the actual problem maker in my life. Ever since I have cultivated a new habit , concerns look in on me every now and then.
I always make plans; only with the intention of helping myself. Now you think why I am making a big deal out of it. Since it is very common. There is nothing wrong with making plans. But to put these into practice is laborious.
Fortunately I am a pro at making plans and a zero in executing them. When I hit puberty, I got a new habit; procrastinating things. I kinda love putting things off. The more I put things off, the more I add regrets to my life. I know procrastination only ruins my life. It does nothing good. But still I am me; dumbo of the dumbos.
For instance , a month before every exam, i would be busy in making my time table. Arranging the subjects; having a busy schedule. I put every minute things in that chart; time to refresh, time to eat, sleep etc. And one thing that I mainly highlight in that chart would be avoiding mobile phone. Then I seek for the blessings of god to make it success.
Inorder to appreciate my efforts in making such a huge plan, I would start acting on my plan with confidence and perseverance. But those things don't help me to strive for the next day. A call of instinct for dilly dallying would eventually take me over. Days gone, weeks gone , and one day before my exam and I have upto 4 or 5 books of big size to finish. ( delaying would go till two days before exams).The scenario in my house on everyday before exam is terribly horrible. I would be running mad without knowing what to start with, blaming myself for not to stick with plan.That day would be my sleepless as well as my nightmare. And straight to the exam hall, me having the question paper in my hands, praying to god for a miracle and then write. But once I finished writing exam, i would ask myself if I had worked a bit hard , i could have written it well. Every time I step out of the exam hall , I go home with a broken heart. And also after each exam, I take vows to study well and break it. I think I kinda love breaking my vows. In my life,Procrastination is not only applicable for studies, it can also apply to doing exercises, reading books, to things that require labour.I am so trapped in this habit that even having the thought of writing a time table, now a days, scares me to death. I don't know how to leave that habit. It has become a routine. To get rid of it , I frequently watch motivational videos and Ted X. Still I haven't changed a bit.I know this saga continues, leaving me with handful deposit of regrets to carry on in my life.