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Jinxed
Disregard whatever I had said,
I told you I loved you but that’s not what I meant.
Now that I know it’s unrequited,
My yearn for human contact has been silenced.
I’m picking up where I left my old life,
Before you stumbled in drunk cutting the curtains with your knife.
You’ve made me feel unloveable,
I’ve made me something untouchable.
I will live out my picket fence dreams,
Alone in the wilderness with the wolves and the feins.
I’ll follow the career path I sent out to do,
To sing and become famous and forget all about you.
Leave a hole in my chest when you leave,
I will never know the reasoning of this, an unsolved mystery.
I haven’t had lunch in days thank you,
You’re giving me motivation to run a mile or two.
Packing your things to be seen no more,
Taking yourself and my longing with you out the door.
So I don’t care if you go you see,
I’m at peace with the fact nobody will love me.
I told my mother, my sister, my friends about you,
But I jinxed myself and now, come to find out, we’re through.
It’s so unfair of you to lead me on,
Did your parent never teach you that shit was wrong?
Recovered myself from an eating low,
But your desertion of me has made it come back in heavy flows.
Lie to me this once if you can,
Say you’re on your way home and you’re on your way back.
I don’t care I swear but can you just lie,
I think I might miss you a little bit too much this time.
The first time you left I was unkempt,
But the second time around has me messed in the head.
You can’t keep doing this JD,
You can’t keep doing this to me.
I wanted my first Highschool love,
It’s not your fault for falling out, but damn is it messed up.
Thin love what has happened here,
Honeysuckle and underdeveloped vanilla tears.
Vodka draining out my eyes JD,
I’m crying acid and there’s no one there to wipe them for me.
What a fool I am for trusting you,
What a pity I’m still sitting in the restaurant booth.
You swore you loved me but your fingers were crossed,
I’m treading gently tonight throwing rocks into the pond.
Picking petals form an innocent flower,
So it tells me you don’t want me and I sob for hours.
Somehow there’s a different feeling with those words,
I don’t love you stings but I don’t want you really hurts.
Friends is something you can’t possibly want to be,
“If I’m not enough for you then you’re not enough for me.”
Lost soul waving arms in the dark now,
Searching for something other than the boy I had once found.
I can’t tell my mother anything now,
I jinxed our fate and we had a falling out.
Darling I’m contemplating hard,
Broke our picture frame and I see a glass shard.
If you don’t want me what can I do,
There’s nothing left in the shared locker for me and you.
Just because I miss you doesn’t mean I want you back,
You may have been the biggest mistake I have ever had.
And I may be sad that you left out of the blue,
But it doesn’t change the fact I want nobody like you.
You twinkle like a sky that’s starry.
I jinxed us and I’m not sorry.

© Waiteing