Sometimes I wanna step in front of a truck. But I cant fuck up someone else’s day.

Sometimes I wanna cut… cut so deep and watch the blood well up. I wanna watch it snake down my leg making a river as it runs its path.

Sometimes I wanna scream. Just take the deepest breath I can and scream FUUUUUUUUUCK.

Sometimes I wanna die. Then I sit and cry wondering why, wondering wtf is wrong with me.

Sometimes I wonder why. Why am I so fucking unstable, unable to control my emotions like everyone else.

Sometimes I’m okay. I can see the sun on a bright day and think I may just have this thing beat.

Sometimes the clouds come rolling right back in. I take a couple of deep breaths as I realize the war is about to begin… again.

Sometimes I just wanna fucking give up. Pack up, move on, how long would it be before anyone noticed I’m gone?
© m.szymanski