I miss you so much

I miss how you smelled, I miss your touch

Feeling you embrace me after a long day of back to back wars you would drive 40+ minutes just to be waiting at my door

Ready to give me a hug

And you'd show me just how much you loved me

Just a simple embrace but the words from my mind I will never be able to erase

"I'm here I got you, you're safe now"

Those words echo in my brain even now

Night and day thinking of every single time my face lit up at a text message or a call

But that would slowly fade

As you grew further away your mind did too
With all the hate and the crying too you and I intertwined our lives so tight that leaving wasn't an option

I clipped some twigs between us to give you the option to grow and be humbled by the great big world around us

But no

You knew that being intertwined was my home, my safe space, the one true place that I could embrace even with hate it was warm most days

And as long as I found warmth even some of the time, the icy frost encasing our leaves and our foliage you finally put in its place

Untwining from me like an overgrown misplaced set of rusted iron gates, needing the space to unlock the heavenly grace that is the music of light and love

I love you for untwining and realizing that your roots would only strangle mine, that your twigs and leaves would only leave me with nothing but a little space in between mine

And don't get me wrong, you've saved me from being blown away in the storm but now that you are the storm you realize that you need to be reborn into a new tree with new leaves and as long as we were we no one could be free, so you did that for me

But little did you know, when you clipped my branches intertwined with yours you accidentally clipped my heart cord

And no matter what, I will always want was is now no more

I would rather be a wilting plant lacking life and oxygen then be left as a broken transplant to be blown away

And never reblossom

So I will wait for you, I will wait till the heavenly cues have told me that I have no more time and even then I will still wait for you till time runs out and life on earth has without a doubt ran a drought and humanity is no more

But even then, even when then is then I will still wait for you

Maybe then you'll look at me again and see no reflection of who you were and see nothing more but me, a little twig whose travled space again and again just to find my way back to you

And even then if I find you've intertwined with another tree more alike and more akin to what you need in life

I will say goodbye and leave you with your humbled and happy wife

Leaving my worn out leaves to dry out and say goodbye in the roasting sun

And as my time runs out
My Love
I'll make sure to say goodnight.

© M.D.V.G