i wish i could leave my skin
detach from my bones and muscles
be free from myself

i wish i could vanish
so i take my antipsychotics with wine and punch another wall
so i turn into this thing i don't recognize at all

i wish i had a delicate face and a nice smile
i wish i was a nice well-adjusted person
i wish i didn't wanna scream at you right now

there are so many things
that i hope for
and that i wish i wasn't

there are so many people i wish i was
and so many more i hate
i can go from hating to loving and back to hating so goddamn quickly

right now i hate you
and i truly wish you did love me

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