Zay and I are currently on break. We haven't spoken to each other in a month and so I went out to a bar just to recharge my batteries and then there he was.......he was the sexiest man I've ever seen. He was muscular and cool and I knew I had to have him. His name was Deven and we talked. He broke up with his boyfriend and was looking for a way to start over. Glad he chose me. We laughed and had an amazing time with each other. Then, we went our separate ways and I stopped.

I saw Deven a few more times before we decided to make things official. Zay and I were becoming friends again and I didn't want to complicate things. Deven and I had our official date and we saw this amazing. movie. While the movie was going on, we couldn't stop holding hands. His smooth, soft hands was the best thing I needed. He wrapped his arms around me and we kissed each other and we forgot everything about the movie. So, we grew together and then things started to change.

Deven became sick one day. He kept complaining of having headaches and so we went to the doctor. He had series of tests done on him before he got his results. Stage Four Brain Cancer. We both looked each other as the doctor gave Deven a month to live. I held Deven in my arms and he let out a loud cry. He was scared and I was scared. Deven slowly lost his muscle mass and was confined to a wheelchair. It was a few weeks and one day, I woke up and touched Deven. He was cold as ice.

I tried giving him mouth to mouth, but I knew he was dead. I called the paramedics and they pronounced him dead on the scene. I lost my mind and I just remembered them placing a white sheet over his body. It still doesn't register to me that Deven isn't here anymore. I talked to Zay and we went back to being a couple, but I knew that Deven and I had something that was special. Every time I think of a rose, Deven is the first thing on my mind. I miss him each and every day.















© Josiah Bhola Hillaire