The Refugee - Ranjankumar Desai

Magne se jo maut mil jati

To kaun jeeta is jamane me

For the last 72 hours I have been struggling non stop against death in the ICCI unit of Mumbai Hospital.

I am left with no time to survive as the guest of this universe. This idea gives me a sort of a relief. It is better to die once instead of dying every moment of life.

Despite this I cannot leave the finger of life.

A massive heart attack has dragged me in the hospital alongwith other ailments associated there with.

The scenarios covering pieces of ice slabs, mirchi powder and sugar coated water keep on visualising before my eyes.

Habitually I had risked to tell lies in presence of C. B. I. Team., which caused a huge financial loss due to rigorous punishment called " Third Degree ".

They had demanded to betray the secret of Anti National and illegal activities carried by my working organisation and denied any co operation in that regard was instrumental to enforce upon third degree punishment on me.

And I was severely tortured untill the truth was revealed before them.
After that they had granted me bail with a condition not to leave Mumbai without their permission.

And next day I reported Nathalal & Sons.

To my utter surprise my name plate was missing.

It gave me a feeling that I was not the part of Nathalal & Sons any more.

The younger son of Nathalal had displayed his smartness and over intelligence to mislead the CBI team.

He wanted to establish or fabricate the story to prove that Mohan Bhai was not the part of their organisation.

For the last few days I was leading miserable life with no time to relax or breath for a while . I was fully exhausted due to over straining my self due to hectic activities. Despite all the adversities, I could not keep myself away from my responsibilities. Being the utmost faithfull employee I had no option but to report the office in time.

Nathalal 's sons were annoyed to see me entring in the office.

Nathalal was a person of short temper. His sons inherited this quality from their father.

He was in the category of millioners due to their forfathers hard work., and efforts

And Nathalal had acclaimed sole credit for no efforts of him. He had openly declared.

' Mohan is nothing but a senseless donkey. On recovery 40 lakhs of rupees I will chuck him out.'

The hard working over a decade paid me this dividend. My loyalty was over looked and left aside.

Had he kept a bit patience and waited for a while the things would not have gone to the stage beyond repairs.

Nathalal 's attitude was the chief cause of such a critical situation. I had over heard his talking to some one of his business clients.

His injurious comments had disturbed me to the greater extent.

It gave way to grow my pain intensely.
I was in the habit of calling office staff and peons to my cabin by pressing call button provided any time I preferred. No body took me seriously for my strange attitude much nor worried about my bell.

I realy needed some one to attend but no body had shown up.

I constantly pressed the call button but nobody answered the call

After a while senior most peon entered my cabin.

I was already out of my mind.

I could not suppressed my negative feelings and afuriously burst out my anger.

" Where were you, bloody fool?

Before he could explain I collapsed on my revolving chair.

I was not in a position to know what happed there after.

Nathalal owned four cars of his own.

Despite this he had arranged ambulance to reach me hospital.

A man may be thousand times worst person possess some human qualities.

I had auctioned my heart for the sake my brain and well being of theirs.

All important days of decade of my life I had devoted to Nathalal for his official and domestic problems.

Despite he had placed me in the row of an ordinary person.

On knowing my critical state of health Sushma had rushed back to me.

It was her second marriage with me.

Her first husband had absconded with her whole of money.

He was good for nothing. Not ready to work any where and enjoyed his life with wife's money.

There was no parity of thoughts and action between themselves.

Ocasional disputes were the parts of their merital life.

Once there was big dispute and her husband had absconded with money and gold.

At this time I happened to meet Sushma in one of the marriage function of my friend's brother.

My friend had introduced each other.
And soon we were married through Arya Samaj rituals.

She had grown up with the prejudice about her old husband community.

They dont even bother or feel ashamed to disrobe their mothers if the situation goes to that level.

And Nathalal too belonged to his community.

Under the influence of heavy doses of medicines I had slept almost for 12 hours.

On waking up the chain of thoughts occupied my mind.

In the universe of selfish people, we cannot trust any one.

This idea almost led me to think negatively.

This had tightened vein of my brain.

The memoirs of olden days revived in front of my eyes.

With the powers in my hands I never stopped from exploiting small people according to my whims.

And I was taking pride in doing so.

Because of my attitude no body cared about me.

Despite every body for once had come to inquire about my health.

Once upon time I too had export import business of my own, which earned millions of rupees. I was leading a peaceful and comfortable life.

But manipulating habit was a integral part of my life which definitely helped me to run my busines smoothly.

But one of my weakness was instrumental for my debacle.

Just to get benefits even in trifle transactions , I used to manipulate government documents.

By virtue of my good fortune I had no problems with my business, but the greed for every thing caused damage to both and my business.

I was endowned with the art of forgery. I took no time to duplicate the sign any officials of any category, if the situation demanded.

And this habit took heavy toll of my life.

I had imported a consignment from Singapore via sea route.

The steamer carrying my cargo had already taken berth in dock and all the importers had cleared their consignments on the basis of documents forwarded. But due to loss of documents in transit my consignment was lying in ware house with heavy demurrage charges. I had no patience left.

Market was going down briskly for the product I had imported. At this point of time my sixth sense came to my rescue.

With a view to save the guarantee margin demanded by the bank, I went a step ahead and prepared fake guarantee on stamp paper, signed as bank manager with rubber stamp and submitted it to custom authorities.

But due to some technical error it was sent to bank and my fraud was exposed.

This amounted to criminal offence and I was sent behind prison.

I declared myself bankrupt.

Before this as a safety measure I had transferred money to my brother's account in Germany.

Under the circumstances Nathalal had come to my rescue and arranged my bail.

I was relieved from the jail on a condition ' Not to go out of Mumbai till the issue is sorted out.

In such a condition I found God in Nathalal.

But the situation was altogether different. His manager had resigned which created vacancy for this post.

He was very calculative person. He hired me in his company as active manager without any powers.

He did not spare to make use of my compulsion in whatever he thought.
I was rather his refugee rather than his employee. I was just like a bird without wings.

I did not even enjoy the power of signing any papers.

Despite having entrusted the folio of manager he did not have trust upon me.

He needed a person who could sort out problematic and contraversial issues. I was the master for such things he wanted to resolve.

All of his interactions reminded me that I was nothing but a refugee.

Nathalal and Sons was inaugurated by his fore fathers.

But he never missed to take the credit for every part of growth.

He was master in the Art of taking work from every one. But he was not as reliable when the matter of making payment was concerned.

Because of his mal treatment and suspicious nature manager had bade good by to Nathalal Sons.

Nathalal always thought about losing bank interest other than important issues.

Despite repeated demands my brother did not return the money I had transferred to his account.

I was helpless towards his immoral gesture.

I was cozened in my own act.

My responsibilities always kept me busy in the office with no time for my disposal.

This gave way to disturb our married life.

It provided cause of disappointment in her mind. She was not nagging type. It is the bounded right of every married woman to spare some time with her husband.

She never appreciated my habit of working late in the office.

This caused disputes between us.

She started arguing with me with hot words.

I made her shut her mouth out of anger.

This situation affected our married life.

She needed peaceful bread and I was running around to earn money by hook or crook.

We had lost the stage of amicable situation due to our problems.
Sushma too reached the stage of non tolerance, which was instrumental to create crack in our marital relationship.

I never waited and thought as to what direction I was heading.

Soon after my bail degree of disputes reached great height and once after provocation I beat my wife and she left me and went her maternal home.

" Horns of Buffalo hurts herself."

I had taunted her with this remark, which actually applied to me but I never thought otherwise.

I never thought of compromise and never tried from my end.

Its a well known proverb : " A monkey does not give up the habit of tumbling to and fro. "

Nathalal knew this very well that is how he had not allotted major powers as a manager.

One way it sounded good for me.
For my own welfare, it was advisable for me not to sign any papers. But it again pinched my heart for non enjoyment of powers.

I had no problem to change my identity or my signature but it sounded immoral and illegal.

What would Nathalal think about this idea?

It put breaks to my thoughts.

Normally psychology of criminal is very feeble and weak. Even a slight negative issue makes him disturbed and restless, makes him feel criminal for any thing and every thing.

Under my leadership I enjoyed the privilege of haressing staff members around. I was making them dance according to my whims and tunes.

I never talked any one of staff members without reasons.

I was cautious about my existence in the office.

I was the echo of HMV.

I never disbelieved them.

Big revolving chair and air condition cabin boosted my ego at high level.

Due to my stubborn attitude staff members were afraid of coming face to face with me.

But the suddenly on recruted some one in the office under me.

He was better executive than me from every angle.

It was my intension not to allow him to raise above my level.

But he was two steps ahead of me.
Fearlessness was his chief quality.

He too had taken me as the refugee of the company.

I too was aware of my real status in the company.

Refugee lives on the mercy of others.

Despite this I was integral part of the company.

I could play any dirty game against any one.

I could have taken the advantage of any body's weakness in the office.

Kumar was simple, straightforward and out spoken. He knew his job well. I could not digest this.

I was always busy to find out faults in his working. On his appointment the things began to mixed up..

Work distribution proved to be hell of job for me.

He was meticulous person still he was confused due to disorganised system.
I took advantage of this situation and misled Nathalal and his sons about his capabilities.

He was capable of taking over my responsibilities, which caused a sense of fear and non security about my job.

He was out spoken and had courage to talk on face rather back of a person.
He was capable of taking charge of my post. This was the fact which disturbed me a lot every now and then.

He had proved to be my competitor. I did not miss any opportunity to let him down.

He was frank and out spoken, always expressing openly his views and suggestions.

Once he had openly challenged my opinion.

" You are number one selfish person I have seen in my life till date. You are always in the habit of clapping with one hand, which is very dangerous. You will have to pay heavily for that."

" Wound caused by sword is curable but not by words. "

I took the credit of indispensable officer of the company and I was feeling proud of my status and took the liberty as per my whims. I always tried to establish that I was the best executive of the company.

Nathalal had once suggested to Kumar taking my side.

" Mohan Bhai is over loaded with hectic responsibilities. You should co operate and try to reduce the over ridden burden from his head. "

To this Kumar had retorted back bluntly.

" Unless he changes his present modus operandi no body could help him. "

He had talked to his generation. They too were not comfortable with me. One of his sons suggested him to lodge complaint about me to his father.

And Kumar took no time to bounce upon his suggestion.

" You know that I am right in my stand, then why don't you go to your Dad and tell him. And again Mohan Bhai is also a human being likely to err. Again he is not my enemy. Still you feel some thing is really wrong. You could talk to him directly. Why should I become the cause.. "

In presence of Nathalal, Kumar had given back.

" You cannot expect any thing at any time. "

This had hurt my ego briskly.

I was never ready to accept my defeat in any part of department.

In the beginning Kumar with due respect did not challenge me.

But the moment he knew about my intents he started to voice against me.

Considering it to be his weaker side, I never waited to dislodge his self confidence.

I was busy to lay obstacles in his way and this was exposed by another associate executives.

" Who is good executive or administrator?"

Kumar knew and he was following the good tactics of successful executive.
But I never took pain to learn right tectics.

I was having nasty ideas. I felt that whole of universe I have captured in my fists.

There was no planned strategy about the work schedule.

Once I happened to know from some one.

Kumar had spoken to him :

" Work should be scheduled as per the importance."

He had very approprietly quoted.

Kumar was made of different soil.
He had practically won the hearts of all and impressed them.

The word loyalty had different counting for me.

I left no option to misguide Nathalal and his sons about Kumar but it did not work as Kumar had proved his mettle.

I was the great show man and Kumar knew about that.

I always tried to show that I worried about every body in the office. I was like a dog beneath the cart, pretending carry whole cardweight of his head.. Due to my such an attitude I was damaging the confidence of others.

Against my such an attitude kumar had raised voice., and had provoked Nathalal' s younger son.

But he was spoon feeding unable to do any thing without my help. This had boosted my ego.

We were basically different from each other in every aspect.

Kumar believed to work deligently avoid mistake or duplicacy of work. And I labelled it to be a go slow policy.

With this differential attitude we were unable to stand on the same platform.
For the last few days a cold war was going on between us.

Kumar was frank and open, he used to tell any thing on the face. But I was back baitter. And this attitude of mine caused lot of problems.

I was one sided and not interested to see problems of staff.

On another occasion I made an attempt to let down Kumar.

And he had bounced back immediately.

" One who does no how to respect others, has no right to expect respect."
His talking this way had stunned me gravely.

What have you gained from your spooning attitude. What does it mean by your loyalty to him.

I took Kumar for granted and had erred to place him in the category of a fools. But he had turned out to be a preceptor.

He was aware of my all malafide activities.

In the company there was couples of staff members who were favoured with additional money keeping eyes on the activities of staff members and provided reports to Nathalal's inexperienced sons.

Otherwise loyalty was a matter of deep concern.

Kumar never accepted with company' s indefinite policy.

Owing to heavy and hectic responsibilities, I never thought or focus on the other activities.

And Kumar could not sustain the situation.

With Kumar on their side some of the junior staff members started to raise their voices against me.

Kumar had given me a title of, ' Mad Monkey Kung Fu. '

One of senior peon too had ridiculously addressed me as ' A puddle frog '

Hearing these types of comments my ego was hurt badly.

But I was helpless to bounce back.
Manipulation of money was integral part of my duties.

In every deal I had share of commission with all of our traders.

One of the trader out of jealousy and anger exposed me in front of Nathalal.
But he did not raise any objection, since he knew that I was indispendable.

3/4 of the day of mine was taken away in futile meetings and discussion leaving no time to concentrate by Nathalal.

. This modus operandi forced me to sit late for accomplishment of my

Nathalal's sons were good for nothing. They were dragged into the business with least interest.

They could not drink water without my permission.

Due to their passive attitude my table was full of papers and files all the time.

I had tried to tutor them about business ethics and principles which had gone waste.

Once I had rebuked junior son of Nathalal.

I had called him in my cabin and asked him a routine question.

" Do you read the papers before signing. "

He had bluntly answered :

" Why should I read? "

And I had commented :

" It is our responsibility to read the papers before signing. We dont come in the office to sit in A.C. cabin. "

He could not digest the comment and rushed to his father to raise complaint against me.

Instead of telling any thing to his Nathalal, took his side andwarned me of my status in the organisation.

" You are a refugee in the company. You remember this and dont try to act as an owner. "

"After this I never tried to tutor him.

It pinched me to remind the title awarded to me by Kumar :

" Mad Monkey Kung Fu. "

He had placed me in the category of heartless people.

He never believed that I was patient of heart attack pleading sarcastically.

"How a heartless person gets heart attack? "

If believed we could learn from even a small kid.

We almost disagree with each other which amounted disputes. Despite this in the event of my health problem Kumar was the first person to visit me at home or hospital inquiring about me.

I was introvert type not worried about others, always lost with myself.

At another encounter with Kumar had clearly mentioned :

Had you ever bother to respect others you would have never reached to such stage.

After Few months a girl called Shilpa was recruited as a steno typist.

Added to that she played the role of personal secretary to Nathalal.

Not only him but his sons were obsessed with Shilpa's approach.

They were crazy about making her bed partner.

Nathalal had shamelessly offered her with a details of previous girl.

" The former girl whom you have replaced was sleeping with all of us and we compensated her with extra payment."

Shilpa was annoyed with filthy demand. She had informed this to Kumar., who being an author cum journalist as well threatened Nathalal to expose him and his sons through media.

And this threat worked well.

Shilpa too felt fearless and express her gratitude towards Kumar. This interaction brought them close to each other.

It gave her the feeling that she is safe and secure in the hands of Kumar.

Once I was going out, I found Shilpa cutting joke in the visitor 's room.
' One working girl gave birth to three kids at a time.'

And this was commented by the girl.

" Whats new in this? She is a typist and habituated to take one plus two copies.

On hearing this Kumar laughed loudly and the telephone operator who was available enjoyed the joke similarly.

I could not stand the intimacy between them..

In this field he had again turned out to be a my competitor.

She had never accepted my lift offer while travelling by taxi.

It aroused the feeling of jealousy as and when I saw them together. Shilpa enjoyed the company while back home journey to the station.

Within next few days engagement ceremoney was organised.

I could not bear this.

Their marriage date was also fixed, which was just one week away.

I wanted this marriage to break out of obsession and sheer frustration. I had reached to the stage of crazy to make her my partner.

So I resorted conspiracy.

I wrote a letter to Kumar's parents raising finger at Shilpa's character.
She was stunned to hear from Kumar himself that engagement was revoked due to a blow on her character.
She could not bear such a situation and committed suicide.

I had injured my own feet with axe.
I knew that my letter would definitely break the engagement and Shilpa would not be able to stand such a cate trophy. She would need to be consoled by some one and I was waiting for my turn. But things went other ways and mine dices were reversed. And I gained nothing but the failure.

The mystery of Shilpa's death had come into light and Kumar knew the culprit behind the entire episode.

I had no doubt about taking revenge for my misdeeds.

Shilpa's exit was a big loss a trauma for Kumar.

He would have become Devdas due to this.

He was totally mute and not letting any one to know his inner turmoil.

But what was going in his mind was beyond my imagination.

I was really afraid about his move. He was capable of doing any thing with vast influence in the every field.

I was sent to Chinai to recover 40 lakhs of rupees from traders.

We were raising our bills at higher rates and made payment by cheque and about 20 to 25% were recovering by cash by visiting them personally. And which always reflected heavy loss in books of account which also saved lot of money by way of taxes.

Nathalal 'sons were not capable of handling two numbers account and I was the sole remedy to solve such transactions.

Nathalal' s sons were never interested in business.

They kept themselves busy with trifle matters.

And I took advantage of this attitude of theirs and collected good amount of cash from traders as commission.

I was at loss to know as to how the news about recovery of 40 lakhs rupees reached out side the trader's office.

C B I officers were alert and found some racket had whole over the country through media.

They had an eyes on my every move.

On the other hand notwithstanding the situation Nathalal was constantly pressurising me ever now and then.

" Throw a piece of bread to dogs and reach Mumbai."

I had my share of Rupees five lakhs with me in my brief case.

Because of this undue benefits I never thought of quitting the organisation.
I had changed the idea of travelling by flight. I resorted to train journey cancelling the Air Ticket.

But the destiny was cruelty smiling at me.

Next station a CBI team entered my compartment and started inquiries.

" What it contains your brief case.? "

" Cash Money! "

" How much? "

" Please open it! "

I had no option but oblige them by opening my brief case.

My sixth sense failed at this time.

My feet lost all the strength.

It contained currency of 45 lakhs of rupees and some documents.

It amazed the team to greater extent.

They appealed me to provide full information.

My non co operation annoyed them.And they found no option but to employ third degree treatment upon me.

They took me to torture chember and pulled off all of my clothes.

The fear of loosing life did over ride on my head..

Despite this they did not stop themselves and went a step ahead. They inserted mirchi powder in side my secret organ. Again this was not the end of their treatment. They had given me bath of sugar coated water.

This gave ways to ant to disco dance all over my body.

I lost the strength of forbearance of pain caused by third degree treatment.
I was crying over the split milk.

And pain in my groin brought tears in my eyes.

They never showed mercy and continued in their treatment.

At this time Shilpa appeared before my eyes with victorious smile on her face.

" You deserve this treatment! "

I dont know how Kumar must be feeling about my tragic condition.

I knew he was behind all the situation. May be it was my illusion. But it did not stop my agony.

A criminal 's mind takes every thing on his hand and hold responsible for any dam thing.

Kumar was self sufficient and efficient, knew about my miss deed threw me into a ditch.

He had involved himself to regain the money seized by CBI officials. And this made him to capture my seat in Nathalal ' s organisation..

I was repenting for what wrong I had done.

And my wife Sushma had forgiven me for my misdeeds. She had returned to my life.

I had served Nathalal & Sons for more than 10 years. And kept it away from any problems.

Despite this I was kicked off from the organisation.

At that time it reminded about the Sushma 's prejudice about Nathalal 's community.

" We cannot trust this community. They would exploit the people for their self interest but would not help others in case of their needs.

Kumar had visited me with bouquets in his hands. His face was beaming with victorious smile.

I did not spare him to cause troubles at every step.

His body language did not show any grudge towards me. It melted the fire of revenge.

He had no heart to continue with Nathalal after the death of Shilpa. But he always imaging Shilpa pleading :

" Please dont leave Mohan bhai for what he has done to us. "

He handed over two papers.

It gave me a feeling that it was my termination letter.

Sushma took away papers from my hands.

On reading the letter she revealed the contents.

Kumar had resigned from Nathalal & Sons.

And another letter was his appointment letter from different reputed organisation, a job above my post.

He had managed the recovery of money from CBI using his influence. In consideration of his successful efforts Nathalal had offered him my post.
But he had refused his offer.

Nathalal' s company could be locked at any time, since it was black listed.
He had resigned on completion of two of his missions.

The news about the recovery of money was a great relief for me.

I tightly hugged Kumar with tears in my eyes.

And death ran away from me.

(To be completed )

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