The Hell Girls - Jesus tells a story about his Girlfriends
Jesus finished his glass of Whiskey.
On the Rocks.

"Anyway, here's a story about my women."

"In the heart of the infernal abyss, where shadows danced with flames, resided four girls. The Hell Girls – Eyesha, Killsha, Hellsha, and Millie. Each possessed unique talents and personalities, bound together by their love for their shared boyfriend, Jesus, and their shared passion for the paranormal.

Eyesha, with her vibrant red pigtails and infectious laughter, was the group's resident demon warrior. Her love for pizza, booze, and psychedelic mushrooms often fueled their wild adventures. Killsha, the blonde bombshell, was a force to be reckoned with, her giant hand cannon pistol always at the ready. Half of her head was shaved, the other adorned with a fierce Mohawk, a testament to her rebellious spirit.

Hellsha, a blood-drinking beauty from the circle of Lust, radiated an alluring charm. Her fiery ponytail and wide, innocent eyes masked her insatiable thirst for the forbidden. Millie, the chain-smoking, whiskey-swilling powerhouse, exuded a captivating allure. Her swept-back blonde hair and skull-cracking strength made her a formidable presence.

United by their love for Jesus and their paranormal investigations, the Hell Girls embarked on a perilous mission to Transylvania. An old, abandoned mansion beckoned, rumored to hold a cryptic riddle: "Never Eat Soggy Waffles."

As they ventured into the mansion's depths, the air grew thick with anticipation. Cobwebs clung to the decaying walls, and the floorboards creaked ominously beneath their feet. Eyesha, fueled by a cocktail of pizza and mushrooms, bounced with excitement, her laughter echoing through the desolate halls. Killsha, ever vigilant, kept her hand cannon at the ready, her sharp eyes scanning the shadows for any sign of danger.

Hellsha, drawn to the mansion's dark energy, savored the thrill of the unknown. Millie, whiskey flask in hand, cracked her knuckles, eager to confront whatever horrors awaited them.

Room by room, they explored the mansion, deciphering cryptic clues and unraveling the secrets hidden within its walls. Each step closer to the riddle's solution brought them face-to-face with their deepest fears and desires. Eyesha's visions, fueled by her psychedelic indulgence, revealed glimpses of the mansion's tormented past. Killsha's intuition, honed by countless battles, guided them through treacherous traps and hidden passages.

Hellsha's thirst for blood led them to a secret chamber where a vampire lord lay dormant, his power emanating throughout the mansion. Millie's unwavering determination, fueled by whiskey and adrenaline, propelled them forward, even as the darkness threatened to consume them.

Finally, they reached the mansion's heart, a grand library where the riddle awaited. "Never Eat Soggy Waffles." The words echoed in their minds, a nonsensical puzzle that held the key to their mission's success.

As they pondered the riddle, Eyesha's laughter filled the room, her mind ablaze with newfound clarity. "It's not about waffles!" she exclaimed. "It's an acronym!"

The Hell Girls exchanged knowing glances, their minds racing. "Never Eat Soggy Waffles," Eyesha continued, "stands for North, East, South, West!"

With renewed purpose, they followed the cardinal directions, navigating a labyrinth of secret tunnels beneath the mansion. Their journey led them to a hidden chamber, where a spectral figure awaited.

The ghost of the mansion's former owner revealed the truth behind the riddle and the mansion's curse. The Hell Girls, armed with their unique talents and unwavering bond, faced the spectral entity, their love for Jesus and their passion for the paranormal guiding them through the final confrontation.

In the end, they triumphed, lifting the curse and freeing the mansion from its tormented past. As they emerged from the depths, the first rays of dawn painted the sky, a symbol of their victory over darkness.

The Hell Girls, their mission accomplished, returned to their infernal abode, their hearts filled with a sense of fulfillment and their love for Jesus burning brighter than ever before. Their adventure in Transylvania had strengthened their bond and reaffirmed their purpose as paranormal investigators, forever united in their pursuit of the unknown."

Jesus laughs.

"That's not how it happened."

© GreenShamanCowboy