i feel like iam drowning in a never ending ocean, where I can't even look for my death, or a end which will, I thought, will eventually put a dot to all my problems...but now,iam stuck...iam like suffocating, and being pressed again between four walls and I am choking....but in reality, it's worse.

when I see myself in my condition, I find myself weak and pale, in every way. just never had I thought, I will notice these things in a age, which was supposed to be innocent and carefre...well, iam not complaining, duh!..I know many children do suffer and alot, maybe more than me...but the only question, which trouble me is...why?? why it even happen and why to children, specifically??

and now iam confused...will it ever end? or it's just a infinite pain, which will remain, physically, emotionally as well as mentally, forever and merciless??...

the water in which iam drowning is way too deep...and dark...and scary. there are endless things to be afraid of in this ocean, in which every person, is stuck and having to suffer with no fault...I cry and scream for the lord's name over and over.. because at the end, we humans can become as much as powerful, as we want, but it will be useless, WE will be useless...the power only came from the lord, who is the most merciful, loving and kindest presence in your life...just remember him in ur pains...

Easier said than done..I know...in the ocean iam screaming his name and even he is struggling to help me by offering his hand, but gradually iam going just farthest from him...these humans, whom are DEMONS, are making god away from me...I feel breathing breaking from my throat and that's when I heard my lord's most peaceful and sweetest voice-' child, iam sorry. u had to bear the pain, ur fellow companions and others gave you. they even made me far away from you...I never in my heart thought that This will be mine children's future and nothing is in my hands...the earth belongs to them now and let us see, in which direction they will take the future, even after soo much happened...girls are you people call goddess....but you misbehave with her...she suffocates, keep patience and only suffer...the kind animals, u kill them and eat away AND SAY I WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED UH TO MAKE SACRIFICE IN RETURN OF SHOWING MERCY AND KINDNESS? WHAT YOU HUMANS THINK OF YOURSELF?....why will I ever ask uh to make sacrifices? how the hell do uh get sooo much hatred and...will in ur little hearts to do these things?..

but child, now there is no pain in uh...uh are in my arms now... actually ur soul..' when he said this, I started crying, though I could feel the peace, I was away from my loved ones...my children, my wife, my friends...but god continued-' I know what you are thinking child...I wish things can be more happy and peaceful for people like you, selflessly made a sacrifice to protect your family...(he wipes my tears away from his beautiful and warm hands)but remember, even the evil people are going to pay for it. atleast the pain you felt in that ocean is no more...'..

after that, it was a peaceful silence..I moved my head and saw god, the most kindest and merciful presence, just ran to stop the crying of a child(soul) who was death in a physical abuse...he was assuring him, when he heard one more cry and he ran after that and I saw a women(soul) who died working in a farm in a hot summer, suddenly...

and like that, I was just seeing god doing this to all the souls and we're even listening to the cries and stubborn and stupid wishes of alive children (demon) of his...but he was the kindest...I smiled and like that, I kinda like, rested forever, just thinking what will happen to this humans in the future....

god is with uh in every tough and hard situation...never let your believe in him go away...even after the death, he will be with uh and will do everything to make you right...

so just protect ur mother earth, she needs uh.. respect her and please, don't ignore this message...share it if you feel THE NEED...



© sabera unissa