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pete, are you okay?
(anxiety attack?)
pete grew impatient and tired, staring up at the ceiling as he awaited patrick's return. the kids had gone to bed, and pete was feeling rather alone. at least with the kids awake, he had someone to keep him company. someone to keep him busy and to distract him.
his mind wandered and his hands restrained themselves from clawing at his wrists. he kept his arms at his sides, and squirmed in the bed. he felt like he was tied down, invisible ropes keeping him close to the mattress, keeping him from breaking free. from running out, screaming and crying. the ropes kept his hands from reaching up and ripping his hair out.
pete breathed, heavier and heavier with each breath. he began to feel claustrophobic. despite the huge open room, the darkness let it close in on him. he felt breathless. practically hyperventilating at this point.
he clawed at the mattress, hoping to get some leverage. he hoped to grasp something. he needed to hold on, but nothing was there. or was he just not feeling right? there was a sheet. there were blankets. there were things to hold onto.
pete's eyes squeezed shut. he held his breath. he focused on all the noise that was not even there.
"pete?"
a familiar voice. pete knows the voice, but he cannot focus enough to really recognize it.
"pete, look at me."
the weight on the bed shifts. pete feels like he slides closer to the edge of it. he is... he was about to fall!
pete opened his eyes. he was breathing again. he was drenched him sweat.
"pete, are you okay?"
pete stared at his husband in the now dimly lit room. his eyes dart rapidly, taking in his surroundings before finally settling on his husband again.
that explained the weight shift. that explained why he thought he was falling off the bed. pete was sat in patrick's lap.
"are you okay?"
the question was asked a bit slower, definitely more calmly.
pete nods slowly, hands tightly gripping the soft fabric of patrick's shirt.
"are you sure?"
another nod.
patrick offers a small smile, gently kissing pete's forehead. "why don't we take a quick shower, and then we'll cuddle, okay?"
pete nodded once more, returning the small smile as patrick stood with him, taking him to the bathroom.
~~~
the shower was quick, as promised, and getting dressed was too. though, choosing something to watch was much more difficult.
"what do you want?" patrick would ask.
pete would only point and shake his head when patrick would choose something different.
though patrick never got upset about it, no matter how frustrating it may have been to go through it all. pete was like a child, he did respond well to yelling.
eventually something was chosen, they cuddled the rest of the night, and pete felt better by the time he had fallen asleep.
pete grew impatient and tired, staring up at the ceiling as he awaited patrick's return. the kids had gone to bed, and pete was feeling rather alone. at least with the kids awake, he had someone to keep him company. someone to keep him busy and to distract him.
his mind wandered and his hands restrained themselves from clawing at his wrists. he kept his arms at his sides, and squirmed in the bed. he felt like he was tied down, invisible ropes keeping him close to the mattress, keeping him from breaking free. from running out, screaming and crying. the ropes kept his hands from reaching up and ripping his hair out.
pete breathed, heavier and heavier with each breath. he began to feel claustrophobic. despite the huge open room, the darkness let it close in on him. he felt breathless. practically hyperventilating at this point.
he clawed at the mattress, hoping to get some leverage. he hoped to grasp something. he needed to hold on, but nothing was there. or was he just not feeling right? there was a sheet. there were blankets. there were things to hold onto.
pete's eyes squeezed shut. he held his breath. he focused on all the noise that was not even there.
"pete?"
a familiar voice. pete knows the voice, but he cannot focus enough to really recognize it.
"pete, look at me."
the weight on the bed shifts. pete feels like he slides closer to the edge of it. he is... he was about to fall!
pete opened his eyes. he was breathing again. he was drenched him sweat.
"pete, are you okay?"
pete stared at his husband in the now dimly lit room. his eyes dart rapidly, taking in his surroundings before finally settling on his husband again.
that explained the weight shift. that explained why he thought he was falling off the bed. pete was sat in patrick's lap.
"are you okay?"
the question was asked a bit slower, definitely more calmly.
pete nods slowly, hands tightly gripping the soft fabric of patrick's shirt.
"are you sure?"
another nod.
patrick offers a small smile, gently kissing pete's forehead. "why don't we take a quick shower, and then we'll cuddle, okay?"
pete nodded once more, returning the small smile as patrick stood with him, taking him to the bathroom.
~~~
the shower was quick, as promised, and getting dressed was too. though, choosing something to watch was much more difficult.
"what do you want?" patrick would ask.
pete would only point and shake his head when patrick would choose something different.
though patrick never got upset about it, no matter how frustrating it may have been to go through it all. pete was like a child, he did respond well to yelling.
eventually something was chosen, they cuddled the rest of the night, and pete felt better by the time he had fallen asleep.
