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You Were Lucky Enough
"You are lucky enough to have that, a happy and kind family."
~ Zoë Rebecca
A blessed and happy family who is proud of your achievements every day, who can comfort you when things get rough, who can make you happy or cheer you up when you are sad, who can make you feel better after a long day, to the one you can turn into when the skies are blue, the ones that always say "I'm always here for you", the ones with a beautiful smile who can hug you after a stress day, the ones who made sure you are doing good all the time.
Kind and gentle family I didn't have that when I was growing up, that's why I envy so many kids who have their parents on them as they are growing up, for those parents who are willing to sacrifice their sleep for their children, love, where is that when you abuse and torture your child every day of their life? Was I that bad to deserve that? My not-so-unlucky childhood was questioning me right now, why did I let that happen to me? Self-blame and self-pity have been taunting me.
You are lucky enough to have parents who have been there all along, the ones who wouldn't judge you that easily for just one mistake, who wouldn't slap you, the ones who wouldn't abuse you, the ones who wouldn't put your danger all the time, the ones who can be your comfort and friend, the ones who will be there when it's raining so hard and they will protect you with open arms, the ones who always "Everything's going to be just fine.", and they prove it to you.
Because in my entire childhood, I never felt that all I feel is pain and abuse, sometimes I wonder what is the feeling of being showered with love. Where are they when I needed them most? Why do I need to beg to be loved? Why do they require so much from me even though I can't walk? In my 28 years in this world now I still don't know why I deserve those, Tell me why. Why? Because I don't deserve a single bit of those.
© XoXo
~ Zoë Rebecca
A blessed and happy family who is proud of your achievements every day, who can comfort you when things get rough, who can make you happy or cheer you up when you are sad, who can make you feel better after a long day, to the one you can turn into when the skies are blue, the ones that always say "I'm always here for you", the ones with a beautiful smile who can hug you after a stress day, the ones who made sure you are doing good all the time.
Kind and gentle family I didn't have that when I was growing up, that's why I envy so many kids who have their parents on them as they are growing up, for those parents who are willing to sacrifice their sleep for their children, love, where is that when you abuse and torture your child every day of their life? Was I that bad to deserve that? My not-so-unlucky childhood was questioning me right now, why did I let that happen to me? Self-blame and self-pity have been taunting me.
You are lucky enough to have parents who have been there all along, the ones who wouldn't judge you that easily for just one mistake, who wouldn't slap you, the ones who wouldn't abuse you, the ones who wouldn't put your danger all the time, the ones who can be your comfort and friend, the ones who will be there when it's raining so hard and they will protect you with open arms, the ones who always "Everything's going to be just fine.", and they prove it to you.
Because in my entire childhood, I never felt that all I feel is pain and abuse, sometimes I wonder what is the feeling of being showered with love. Where are they when I needed them most? Why do I need to beg to be loved? Why do they require so much from me even though I can't walk? In my 28 years in this world now I still don't know why I deserve those, Tell me why. Why? Because I don't deserve a single bit of those.
© XoXo
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