© unique_seo
I sat on my bed exhausted and annoyed after pacing round the room for so many hours- I couldn't even keep track of the time. I felt a strange thud in my chest-but this time, it wasn't fear or anxiousness..it was something entirely different... something more calm- I heard a voice.

"Be still and know that I'm still God..."

I shoke my head, trying to wade the thought off. I closed my eyes tightly and collapsed on the bed. I was aware i was hungry- I haven't had anything to eat all day. I felt every kind of emotion wash all over me. I didn't want to feel this way, I tried fighting it but I couldn't...it kept coming back, harder and harder.

"God. Why?" I sniffed. "Why me? Why now..."

"Maybe you should try to relax"

"What?!" I forced myself up. I should probably stop hallucinating. I looked over my shoulders. I wasn't scared i heard a voice, I was astonished at the fact that I knew exactly where that voice was coming from and I didn't know why. I stood up slowly, diverting my eyes to the other side of the bedroom.

"Stella, is that you?" I muttered. "Joe, Rachael, are you there...?'

"What am I doing?" I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

I was fully aware my siblings were not in the house. My family had gone on a family trip without me- I was home alone for the weekend. Well, I would have been with Joanne if that did not happen. I leaned on the wall with my head slightly bent. I was very bitter and with the voice in my head, I was now more confused than ever. I slumped down onto the tiled floor, my eyes heavily dropping. It had been a long day.


*******
" Ada!..."
"Open the door!...."
"Ada!"

I jumped up from the bed, racing down the stairs to get the door. I tried peering through the little hole on the door to see who was knocking.

"Ada, I know you're in there. Please open the door!"

"Mrs shirley?"

"Yes Ada. Please open the door now"

I unlocked the door quietly. I always wondered why Mrs shirley never had a spare key to our house by now. She was always around, preaching the gospel to my family. After her husband died, she moved from the UK to Nigeria to be closer to her children. I guess they never wanted her so she made it her obligation to help the "other kids who needed her" She would always say. Sometimes, I would laugh and joke along with her but most times, I would look into her eyes and see so much sadness and lonliness, I had no other choice but to listen to her gospel stories. She was a middle aged woman, still so young and sweet, always telling I and my siblings about Jesus. I once followed her to her little fellowship down the road. That was the day I became born again. She told me that being born again and getting baptized was going to give me eternal life and a happy one too!
I guess she lied. Ever since I gave my life to Christ, I've had relationship failures, failed friendship and a very unhappy home. I was in so much despair and pain.

"Mrs shirley, I'm really not happy with you" I groaned squarely. " Please sit" I offered her a sit close to the kitchen counter.

She walked in wearing a smile on her face. As always. "Oh dear, what is wrong?"

"I-"

" Before that," she stopped me abruptly with a frown." Why haven't you been picking your calls? Your parents have been so worried about you, they've called me thousands of times today. I had to leave-"

"I'm sorry Mrs Shirley. I'll let them know I'm fine."

"Ada, what's wrong? You look pale"

"Mrs Shirley..." I sobbed.

"Ada... what's wrong?" She asked gently, reaching out for my hands. I pushed her hands roughly.

"Mrs Shirley, I'm sorry but this is all your fault!' I cried angrily. " Ever since I gave my life to Christ, I've been experiencing a lot of bad things Mrs shirley. My friends don't love me anymore, my boyfriend broke up with me, my best friend-Joanne...' I gasped, letting out some air " she hates me now! and I don't know why Mrs shirley...I...I... don't know why!' I said sobbing uncontrollably.

'oh...sweet, poor Ada' she says softly as she rises from the chair. She smiles sweetly,lightly squeezing my hands.

" Dear, have you ever thanked God?"

I paused for a while. I was amazed at the fact I was just told to thank God during the worst times. I glared at hand, cleaning my eyes with the back of my palm.

" You know Ada, the Bible tells us to rejoice always and Thank God in every situation we find ourselves. Being born again is not a journey for the weak. There are so many times, you'll be insulted and ridiculed for doing the right thing and at that moment, it will seem like you've lost your path and the whole world is turning against you." She patted my shoulders lightly, grinning. "But, be still and know that He is God."

At that point, I felt perplexed- like I was experiencing some kind of deja Vu or something.

" Be still and know that I'm still God..." I repeated. " Mrs Shirley?"

"Yes dear"

" I heard those exact words yesterday. Do you maybe- sometimes, hallucinate too?"

"What do you mean by that dear?"

I explained what happened in my room yesterday and how confused I was but surprisingly not scared at the thought that I was talking so loudly to myself for no reason.

"Oh my father Lord" Mrs Shirley laughed loudly. " Oh sweetie, you're such a pure innocent soul. I guess I never explained the Holy spirit to you, did I?"

" No Mrs Shirley. I would really like to know" I pulled one of the chairs closely and sat down.

Mrs Shirley explained everything to me that morning. I realized I had so much to learn being a Christian. I was even introduced to a new person today! The Holyspirit. All my life, I had been told that the Holyspirit was part of the God head and holy Trinity but I was never thought His importance in our lives or in our world today. I realized I had heard the holy Spirit speak to me that Night. He tried so very hard to comfort me but I wouldn't let Him cos I couldn't understand His work in my life.
I and Mrs Shirley had breakfast together. I felt a lot better. I was still heart broken and really confused. I wondered why Joanne wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore, why my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me for no reason at all and why everything was happening so suddenly. I was truly overwhelmed and I still couldn't believe that God was planning out my life for me.
Mrs Shirley convinced me to go and see Joanne and try to sort out our differences which were still unknown to me. I thought it for a while and decides to go a while later.

I glanced through my watch, it was 3:54pm. I called Joanne for the upteenth time- still unavailable. I didn't want to barge into her house without her consent. That would be rude. I've been friends with Joanne for 17 years now, we met on the first day of primary school- Joanne has always been naive and careless. I had to take care of everything for her including closing her doors. She would leave them open for days without even realizing it. Although, we laugh about it and joke around. I was always really worried because I loved her and I would literally die if something were to happen to her.
I looked around again, trying to peer through the windows. The window blinds were closed shut so I could hardly see anything inside the house.

"Joanne" I sighed sharply walking into the house. I bolted the door immediately.

" Hello, Joanne?" I called. No answer.
"Joanne" I called again, more loudly. I stopped for a while. I could hear giggles coming from the room behind me. I turned sharply making my way to the door. As I got closer to the door, I heard a familiar voice.

"Joanne, I would prefer you to that idiot anytime, anyday."
"I love you king!" I clearly heard Joanne scream, giggling from all the excitement.

I could feel sudden rush of emotions wash sharply all over me , draining every form of energy I had. I was confused, surprised and heartbroken. The two people I loved so much broke my heart into a million pieces. I bit my lips, strongly fighting to hold back the tears. I could taste blood coming from my lips. I folded my hands into a fist, running out into the open street, I banged the door loudly behind me, I couldn't care less if they heard me or not.

I walked a little before I realized Mrs Shirley's words were actually true. Sometimes, God tries to reveal the hidden things to us even if it is in a very unpleasant way, He shows us that He is still God and we should always put our trust and hope in Him matter the situation we are in because He loves and cares for us.

"He is still God..." I said with a smile on my face, sighing with relief. "Holy spirit, thank you."