Can I wake up from this bad dream now?
Can you just tell me this is just a stupid joke?
It's not getting easier!
Infact it is getting harder
I want to scream
I want to shout
My tears have dried
Replaced by anger
I don't want to wake up
I don't want to face this new reality
Why couldn't you have been meaner
Maybe it would be easier
Maybe I would let go faster

Usually if I felt alone I would call you
Now I am staring at my phone wishing you would call me!

Does heaven have phones? Can you speak to me once?
Tell me its ok, I dont need to feel scared.
Or
Tell me a joke so I can laugh... I don't want to hurt this way anymore!

Throughout this life I have lost many but loosing you big brother... I have no more words to express this pain!
© kesegiemoodley