i went to my future and saw two shadows on a bed,
blanketed in familiarity.
i saw me. they nestled in the void shaped as your arms
and looked straight into my eyes.

your shadow embracing their body,
fingers gentle in between their hair,
traces of your lips all over them,

giggles and kisses pouring into the silence
of that night we steal from the world,

their shadow having found a heaven within your embrace.
they looked straight into my eyes.
a little bit spooked maybe at my presence,
but their eyes spoke to me, glistened like morning dew.

they turned their back towards me
and through crack in their voice
words spilled,
laments,
pleads,
they begged for you to stay, at least a while longer.

because they know where i came from,
this could only mean the end.
this heaven they found shall last
no longer than the break of dawn.

the ache from inside you touched me,
but pierced straight through them.

i went to the future and saw
that i was a choice you couldn't – didn't – make.
that you contained me but
as soon as we let go of our hands i stopped
existing altogether.

i am not there in your future.

240624
© lostboyzephyr