sometimes to love is to know you're doomed, but stick around anyway. which is really sad, because I think I wanted an apartment with you.

sometimes to love is to stick around for less time than you hoped. my heart is slowly pulled out of my chest. it's a quiet heartbreak, it's a slow trek to the other side of the world. it's not one sided. we were not torn in disgust.

sometimes to love is to be doomed. like me. and like you. I will never look at anything the same now, never again, because no matter who ends up in my apartment it will always feel empty because it isn't you. I will always feel empty because it isn't you.

do I love so I can lose you? do I love so I can move on? is there ever going to be one? I didn't ask for so many. I want one. I don't want to be ripped away. i hate living ghosts.

"ah!" said the fox. "I shall weep." he knew it, too, he said so. he knew they were doomed he watched days count down. and he did it anyway, cuz love, cuz love for someone he'd never see again. and why? why are we like this? is potential heartbreak the state of humanity, is a glimpse of the ending you cannot rewrite not daunting enough? I make ties to break them. I miss so much.

"it is your own fault," the little prince said. something about how if they never decided to become friends in the first place this wouldn't have happened. something about how the fox knew he was gonna have to go and did it anyway. something about how it is worth it, because the princes hair is the color of wheat and now whenever the fox sees wheat.....

but I don't think that's enough this time. I don't think I'll get over you as easily. please, I think I love you. I think I want us to have our dinners together every night.