Whenever I look for a picture on my phone,
I still see her album there.
I changed the album cover
so I wouldn't have to look
at her beautiful face anymore.
But I won't delete the pictures,
insisting that it shouldn't matter
to me if they're there or not.

Taking the time out to destroy
everything that reminds me of her
would be me admitting that it bothered me
so much I couldn't stand it.
But it doesn't bother me anymore.
I'm glad I have them, even if the only one
I ever see again is the album cover:
a picture of our worlds colliding.

The same goes for the playlist
we made together.


"My dreams are like a gallery.
Stare at them all day
but they ain't reality,
rose colored glasses,
heart on the sleeve of my jacket."
— Miranda Glory

We talked a lot about hopes and dreams.
She got her wish, but I never did.
It took me a while, but I finally found
my way to that vicarious smile
I promised her.
I'm at peace.
I may never find my own happiness,
my own slice of heaven,
but I'm so glad she has and I hope
it lasts her the rest of her days.


"If I could save time in a bottle
the first thing that I'd like to do
is to save every day
'til eternity passes away
just to spend them with you."
— Jim Croce

I imagine myself as a guitarist
plucking those same notes,
letting them fly to the moon above
as I sit on the railing of a balcony
somewhere so far away,
enjoying the night air
and the sound of my own voice.


"Fill my heart with song
and let me sing forevermore.
You are all I long for,
all I worship and adore."
— Brenda Lee

If I could sing, I would sing about her.
She filled my heart with song
but the best I could regurgitate
is a bunch of pretty words
and a bunch of ugly ones too.


"Everybody's got a dark side.
Do you love me?
Can you love mine?"
— Kelly Clarkson

I still love her
despite her flaws.
I forgive her of everything
and like to think she'd forgive me too.
She only acted in her nature
and I in mine.


"Am I in your head
half as often as you're on my mind?"
— Alice Kristiansen

I still think of her every day
even though she's long gone.
Even as I say hello and goodbye
to other people,
I never said goodbye to her
and won't
because saying goodbye
means forgetting.


"Peter Pan, that's what they call me.
I promise that you'll never be lonely."
— Ruth B.

Peter Pan. That's me.
I'm a lost boy
from Neverland.
She went home
so she could grow up
without me, but she'll never be lonely.
She will always have a friend in me
even if I don't live in the real world.


"In other words, I love you."
— Brenda Lee



© Little Devil