birds flap their wings, still cannot sing
caged winged things, such misery does it bring—
but a mouth it does have, as it’s lips part—
speaking of songs into the dark-
what songs are these, what songs arise—
if i am beyond broken- then what am i?
.
such a beautiful lie
what a beautiful lie
to love, to laugh, to sin
.
a woman, scorned— where do i begin?
i age up, up, up- daddy always says to ‘grow up’, you want me to grow up, don’t you—
.
swinging off dicks like gymnastics— when can i grow from a mind that’s splintered off from shit
how dare you let your little girl go
.
pulled away from her, let that little girl grow
you want me to grow up; bite your tongue, i just might..
without experience or proper training, -scoff-, just call me the Riddler’s wife
.
he hated me for talking, coz im and on i’d go— forever didn’t wait to let me let go
.
ma said i laughed too loud, yet she laughed louder and harder—
dad said ‘be her best friend when i’m gone’—
i felt alone and scared, my mental state beyond repair; am i your cup of tea.. do you really like me?
.
self doubt and false hope—
hung up, but i watched as i tied the rope—
i felt myself falling.. somehow.. someway—
i lost everything, but somehow, ‘i’m okay’—
.
do you really know what i carry in my body?
thigh straps can’t show you—
a loaded GUN won’t show you—
shoot me, shoot me— i’m all strung out..
bleeding, bleeding.. it’s my turn now
.
*i grit my teeth*
.
rhymes!!
rhymes!!
i’m out of school, i’ve got so much free time, all i do is lounge around, writing prose, seeing where half this shit goes, i’m basically trapped inside my fucking head!!
.
if i don’t have poetry, can you make sure i’m dead?
just for a while?
you can lay by my side and stroke my hair.. i never got that as a child.. most would say i did, but not as an adult.. and even when i did— somehow i’d revolt—
i’m not used to this.. this intimacy, so please forgive.. oh forgive me.. if i don’t, don’t, don’t, reciprocate it all back to you.. i’m doing the best with what i have.. i’m trying to show you..
.
you matter to me, you matter— over and over and over.. YOU MATTER—
hold my hand, i’ll show you— i’ll place your fingers inside my chest.. feel around, the heat inside of me is all for you— tho i’ve got.. nothing figured out..
forgive me if my thoughts.. sometimes get super loud
.
i can’t collect my thoughts
i’ll be stuck in here a while.. as long as you’re here with me
i can’t help but to smile
.
fixing is the easy part
it’s the work put in
equal parts in measure, the fullness within
.
maybe i never learned to talk
and that’s why it all comes out in tongues
do you believe me broken
if not.. this really isn’t fun
.
doesn’t it get boring, talking to someone who rambles
expressing their thoughts in signs and cues
forgetting their kind in love and views
.
maybe i’m not all crazy
maybe i’m not all mad
but would it be considerable
if i don’t think you bad ?
© Fae 💕