How do you transition from lover to friend while trying to mend the broken pieces of your heart. Where do you start?Gathering fragments of what use to be your.self-confidence while realizing you were brought into a relationship under their false presence. While mourning the person you fell in love with the person who doesn't exist you, grew to love the real person who's emotionally unavailable and completely unstable. Yett beautiful in her darkness and loveless ways she'll have you crying for days and left in a haze. Though she's hurt you in a thousand ways, she has reasons to be jaded ,by woman who assassinated the kind soul she use be. The soul that couldn't see how manipulating these women were,while taking advantage of her, tearing her apart piece by piece. Tearing her apart like a pack of wild coyotes ,watching her bleedout every once of kindness she had left, leading to the death of a heart once sweet ,and full of love ,and compassion. A woman who now sees love as an abomination, and will destroy you without hesitation, who will show you absolutely no compassion, as she tears you from limb to limb. Taking a vow of revenge on all women from this day forward, no longer will she be seen as weak or a coward ,just a scorn lover causing others to hurt. When it comes to deceiving she has become an expert she will never stay anywhere long enough to grow attachments nor is she taking applicants for any sort of monogamous relations, or excepting invitations. Just someone to hang with until something better comes along, constantly changing stations looking for a new love song, she can't be hurt if she doesn't stay long. Hopefully one-day she'll find whatever she's looking for ,and stop moving through the revolving door,because somewhere deep inside, there's still a beating heart. Searching for her fairytale ending, she just has to open her heart instead of defending it. She won't admit it but if you look into her beautifully tortured eyes you can see it, not a woman but a little girl still haunted by childhood bullies who omly saw her as a misfit. Someone you might see reading Shakespeare's Romeo and Julie, someone who carries a teddy bear for security and teased daily for not fitting in. Someone holding secretss,like how her female teachers were her favorites,and made her tummy feel funny. How people and large groups gave her anxiety, even to this day. There are reasons I fell in love with this tortured soul,and why it took so long to let her go. It took time to get to know, and patients for her to show, the person she hides inside ,the little girl outside the light. Hiding in the darkest place ,where voices take up most the space. Demons she hides behind a wall ,well over 10 feet tall. If I had to do it again I surely would for that I'm certain, I fell for her the day we met it's a day I won't forget. Though it didn't last ,she'll never be part of my past ,I'll always be close by her side ,just in case she needs a shoulder to cry. Ot someone just to listen ,for her my door ,will always be open.
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© M kirby
© Mkirby