#WritcoPoemPrompt54
I feel my heart is wrenching and ask myself is it all worth it? The pain... the crying... the anguish... None of it makes sense

The blood. The tiny drops of blood sipping through my knitted sweater to the floor has me feeling nauseated.
All i ever wanted was to belong
All i ever wanted was to be loved
And all i ever got was - out

The one person in whom i found a little home wanted absolutely nothing to do with me and guess what that means.
That means I'm the worst
That means I'm his biggest nightmare
That means I'm unlovable

The battling voices in my head tackle me to the ground.
Along with by blooded body
My shattered hopes
My broken body and spirit
They say I'm pretty, smart they say I'm worth it
They say i should stop ripping my skin out, qns another says i should gorge my eyes out, to make myself feel better
I think i might just take that voice up on the offer, just might be intelligent after all

I drag my sack of a body across my trash can of a room to get something to gorge my eyes out then finally have peace
And right there at the door, pages sprawled all over, it stands
In all its glory
Then it all just starts spinning
My head all too heavy for my frail bloody body i can't focus
Is this all worth it?

Right there, its all quiet
It's all silent it almost feels peaceful
I want in
Right there, i felt hatred
Hatred for the blood leaving me
Hatred for my blades
Hatred for my wretched body
Hatred for my hands that caused me pain
He brought me peace, and said I'm special
He said i was beautiful and smart and
He said he loves me
He says i should call Him Lord.
He is, actually.

My Lord.
Make it stop please, Lord
Make the pain stop
Make the spinning stop
Make the anguish go away
Make it all stop
Drive it away

Please Lord.

© makworo