Not only is it a very cold world but also an inexplicably sad world we live in, when an adult can justify projecting their own opinions, issues, judgement, animosity and pain, into the mind of a child so strongly that without proof or understanding, they start to believe it as their own. Not only does this thoughtless behaviour hurt the recipient of their focus but also the child to which they are projecting their criticism, judgement or opinion onto. This is so damaging for the child as they become conflicted by what they're now thinking or believing and what they are personally experiencing or feeling. It fractures the child's innocence and lack of need for logic or reason. Wounding their self esteem and robs the child of their right to learn, experience and form their own opinions of the world, their situations and others. To all of you who think and believe that I am disillusioned or unaware of the catastrophic mess I have made my life, and unintentionally made the lives of my babies and others closest to me, you are so very wrong. I understand what it is I have done, and I am trying to repair the damage I have caused, though this may take many of years to do so, as the journey of healing can be extremely hard and sometimes long. However I will not tolerate and accept that because of your own hurt or inability to communicate and resolve your issues with myself personally, that you justify projecting your negativity onto my children. And I ask that you please consider them the next time you feel it necessary to express your pain or animosity and opinions onto them. I can accept responsibility for my behaviours and the effects that they have had on my children. But I can not sit back and watch my children twisted up in a world of confusion because they are being told that I do not love or care for them, and they know and can feel that, yet are thinking it untrue due to influence of so many negative opinions of myself and my situation, from those who are presently closest to them. I ask that you take yourself out of the equation when you next are talking to my children or around my children about me, and instead of giving them your negativity, simply explain to them that you do not have the answers they seek. And if you feel the need to vent your frustrations or hurt about myself and my present situation, that you have the common courtesy and consider doing so without it being in ears range of my children. For I can accept their hurt and frustration at me for our situation right now, but I cannot accept that they be conflicted because of the weight of so many other individual thoughts and opinions towards me. Start thinking about others people. This works is already full of so many selfish and broken souls. Don't add to it. We are hirting enough. And I despite your beliefs, am trying so very hard to heal, so I can reunite my little family and repair the damage I have done. That is already a huge struggle as I face it alone. So please do not be adding to the heartache of this situation with such thoughtless and detrimental behaviours!!!!
© Rebbekah R Innes