If I were to die, I would go to the place where all the memories have been created, where I no longer even remember. For the reason that I am the troublemaker.

If I were to die, In the backyard I lay,
My eyes wandering to the sky, creating different scenarios—which I cannot see,
But only my soul can.

There I didn't think of something,
I just lay there, and wait till its dark—breathing; still is waiting—till its finally dawn which you only feel the atmosphere is a total eerie, cold air you felt, foggy place where you cannot see clearly (alas,it's not fresh air anymore).

Staring at my old self, waving back at her,
My teary eyes were about to fall—a little droplet of water, but the new version of me stoped her—
Have said "does it even matter?"

I guess, I'm just too cruel, so hard on myself
Did not even bother to get out of one's shelf.
I guess, I'm that monster—who didn't even try to understand herself but have tried to understand others— she was heartless.
You wouldn't believe this—she even pretended that she was everybody's friend, although in reality she's "no one"; to them—she is just the temporary joker ( a backup friend). Tryin' to fix others.

—she now; dont care: the troublemaker and yet a heartbreaker: a total mess but rather be than be with the faker.


© _ASCE