Today I woke with edge to bawl my eyes out,
I hate the smell of Salt and Vinegar popcorns,
while last month I couldn't get enough of them.
I cried today,
I found myself eating hot stuff in front of the fridge,
I'm not sad no,
It's that time of the month,
I painted my nails with a bright nail polish,
put on make up,
this is not me, or maybe it is me
that is compressed,
that I had shove in the darkest corners
of my soul,
and can only get out once a month
I listen to more sad songs and
cry
I wonder why I cry so much?
Is it because I spend most of my time pretending
that the other me just wants to lash out,
I eat some ice lollies,
my smell has increased by 1000
I can smell the burnt chicken from 4 houses away,
My stomach hurts,
my head is splitting,
and I just CAN'T stop eating
spicy food,
I want to cry from the pain,
the emotions that I feel all at once,
but no,
I sit infront of the yellow light of the fridge
and eat my spicy food
and just cry,
'cause I know in a few days
it will be all over.


© Mbali P Nyabane