A childhood lost in her parents war,
Hidden upstairs behind a closed door.
The sound of their battles deafen the air,
Memories of the bloodshed are a burden I bare.
Placed in the middle of a love turned to hate,
A blood feud predicament that I can’t escape.
Too young to deal with the dilemma I face,
A home of animosity I have no safe place,
Conflicting loyalties pressured to take a side,
My journey through life is a bumpy ride.
A marriage dissolves and a family divides,
My dad was my hero he never made me decide.
A man who worked hard and didn’t leave us without,
Our family became three with nothing to worry about.
Unaware my mum was riddled in pain,
A turmoil of emotions from her defective brain.
I tried to support her but I was only a child,
A woman alone, scared and feeling exiled.
Stuck in a pit engulfed in misery and despair,
Broken thoughts in her mind beyond disrepair.
Beautiful and sweet but addled with shame,
A life of regret and the trauma we blame.
The complexity of her issues I just couldn’t grasp,
Mental health stole my mum and took her down fast.
A tidal wave of hurt, abandonment and fear,
A mothers love I would yearn as I shed a tear.
Consumed by guilt, not being there for her end,
A heart shattered by regret that I just can’t mend.
A relationship that death has left me unable to fix,
A lesson I was taught one of life’s nasty tricks.
My hero my dad tossed me aside in a cruel twist of fate,
Feeling unwanted i watched his new family create.
Rejected, forgotten, abandoned like trash,
A soul that burned bright is now as dull as ash.
Had I known then what I learned as I grew,
I wouldn’t have lived the abuse I went through.
Wisdom and knowledge came with age,
The love for my children washed away all the rage.
The demons will stay buried deep down inside,
My children are my world and will never be cast aside.
The one thing my parents passed down to me,
They showed me the type of parent I never want to be.