To My Autistic Ex-Boyfriend
There are many things
you can't make it obvious
to make them know you have autism,
is not just behave exactly like them
as you didn't know
grew up natural born
at masking since I was a child,
I know you should do or not do
if you want to be best friends with them.
Is not how you met them
in your freshman year at Bellevue College.
The first thing you shouldn't do
be mentally prepared and scheduling
too much just go with the flow.
To My Autistic Ex-Boyfriend,
I used to have experience being
liked by many people before
growing up,
you shouldn't do is to
speak up for yourself
when they romantically
or emotionally hurt you.
To My Autistic Ex-Boyfriend,
you shouldn't talk back to anyone
when you feel hot or uncomfortable about it,
when all they do is gossip or talk about you
behind your back.
All you can do is,
just be quiet but obedient
do what they want you to do,
and be they want you to be
Don't question them why,
or give you an honest response
they only are indirect and behave
passive-aggressive about it,
if you going to trigger their
past childhood or High School Trauma.
Even though I used to have experience as an only child and have been spoiled since 9 and a half years old that doesn't mean I am being mean or rude hard for me to understand certain things at times,
I just grew up not notice
anything strange or weird,
abnormal learning barrier within me.
people thought I was born normal like them.
To My Autistic Ex-Boyfriend
when we were together,
never told you that
grew up not noticing,
any flaws or mistakes within myself
that was because I never knew
I had any strange or weird learning
disorder within myself growing up.
To My Autistic Ex-Boyfriend,
before I ever met you
I was a quiet and obedient child
who is naturally born popular,
due to being a well-behaved and a
well-mannered, following the rules
very well before.
Unlike you, I never complain
about what they used to do to me or how
they make me feel,
instead, I keep quiet and unbothered by it
and do my things without Interruption.
Why can you be just like me?
not be bothered by little things
other people never be bothered by,
why is hard for you to be like that?
didn't have a lot of friends since
I was born and used to not have a lot
of love relationships since high school days,
if I am being honest
the only person who
get out of my shell and
talk more and improve
my small talk,
you are the reason
I found the blessing in my life,
before I met you
I didn't have anyone take
me out or to hang out with me
I assume you are not
exactly just like my
high school crush,
who rejected me
complain about me negatively.
About what I did to you or
how I make you feel,
I guess that came true
you are the reflection of
my high school crush,
it makes me the bad guy and
a villain in your life story,
How Could You
complain to your best friends
Emma, Mina, and other people
you trust and agree with?
I am a dangerous May Gemini
I will ruin you and your life especially
Your happy and positive dreams
I will make you regret what you say to them
without my consent.

-Laura So
© LauraGemini