You deserted me halfway into a desert
I came back sandblasted— shining and looking sleek
Perhaps I'm a morsel more of an introvert
However, I certainly did not come back weak

You aimed at me— you projected a propane flame
Attempted to grill my ass like I'm liver—chopped
Guess what— modern life is all but a numbers game
My frame adjusted— a couple of pounds I dropped

You placed me in the path of a blasting blizzard
Straight from the burning flames to being placed on ice
I employed my mind— called on my inner wizard
It was me or the tree— there was a sacrifice

You based me in the ally— directly in line
But your teeny tiny tornado turned out lame
Not even able to flip a newborn bovine
Your jerry-built twister was unable to maim

You swamped me down in the muck of the Everglades
It was smart— I wholeheartedly fear feral hogs
Luckily for me— I am a jack of all trades
I alphaed myself in a pack of tracking dogs

You soaked me, wholly— the dastardly pre-dawn flood
I'll admit you just about had me with that act
For three months I had to move mud— covered in crud
But I gained muscle memory as I unpacked

You try to throw the gauntlet at me— it just aids
Therefore no accolades to you will be granted
I manage to grow through each of your escapades
I stand straight— you, my dear, appear to be slanted

#rhyme #wordplay #shitstorm
© danie_af