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Guilt And Wet Cheeks
I used to cry a lot
When I was younger
I was quite the cry baby
My grandma used to say
that it was because
my heart was so big
I saw my ego a little
But I also agreed
I used to believe that
my soul was a little too big for my body
Maybe that's egotistical of me
But that's fine
I was actually worried about myself
quite a lot recently
Mostly on the note that
I haven't cried in a while
It makes me wonder if maybe
I was being quite egotistical
Maybe on my heart isn't really that big
Maybe I'm not so
Unusual
Maybe I was just a crybaby
I never noticed when it changed
I just moved on
Kept walking
Kept changing
And then one day
I looked back and said
When was the last time I cried
I found that the answer was very unusual
See I realized that
the only times I cry now
Are either when I feel extreme guilt
Or extreme loneliness
To emotions and I'm quite familiar with
But I guess I should praise myself
As humanity is now
Too many humans don't feel
real guilt anymore
Or maybe I'm defective
A human being that feels guilt
Too much
For everything
For everyone
Even things that aren't really my fault
I mean that's okay
Because one day
I found something special
Or rather someone
Anyways I guess
I was happy for a while
And for a while
I cried quite often again
Feeling my cheeks wet
It was nostalgic
Recently as she has been gone
My cheeks
they haven't been wet for a while
Except on the occasion
When I suddenly can't do anything
Get you out of my mind
And then at the end of the day
I break down
Lose control
And cry until I feel like I can't cry anymore
It's not normal
Is it?
I guess one day I'll know
If my heart is too big
Or if my guilt is too strong
Or maybe
Maybe I've just fallen in love


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