I feel lost in the spiral,
being pulled to the center.
My feet feel strengthless,
my hands feel numb to paddle.
Losing my vision to the saline water,
and lungs with little air to breathe.
All the regrets lead to the same question:
Why did I grow up?
From a little girl on her father's hand,
pulling tantrums and getting nagged.
Why did I grow up?
From a toddler running away
from being fed.
Why did I grow up?
From a baby who wrapped her tiny hands
around her father's strong fingers.
Why did I grow up
to this world of unreachable expectations
and unravel the dirtiest secrets?
All I want is to remain the baby
who drooled on her father's shoulder when
fast asleep.