It is better I start to drift away, distance myself from you, from all this, before the feelings grow anymore than it has.
It's a shame that we can never be together.

In desperation, I think about just one night.
One night, with us in each others arms,
Smiling,
Happy,
Dancing under the stars.
A sacred moment I would never forget.
To let you go will be the hardest.

Having you in my arms, a kiss I wish to share.
Sadly, this can only be but a dream,
The possibility very slim.

Can't we like who we want to like?
Is the world just being cruel to me, by making me attracted towards the one I can never be with?

As I reach forward, our hands touch,
I can't hold your hands,
I can do nothing but withdraw.
I long to feel you,
To share a moment so special with you,
I long to touch you,
But I can't.
I must snap back to reality,
The truth written in bold letters.
We can never be together.

I wanted to touch you.
I'm saying that quite a lot, aren't I? *laugh*
It's not fine,
I'm not fine!
I feel these crazy stuffs that I don't understand,
But yet, I seek to explore them.

You make me shy,
You make me smile,
You make me blush!!

What else do I need to say before I'm assured that I do feel something?

Is it just your body?
No. It can't be.

I think you're quite smart, and eloquent, and caring, and......and...
*Crying*
And, I.....I just want to be something more.
Not just a random female who you speak with,
Not just a friend,
But something more.

Arghhhhh!!
Is this the way things must be?
Do i tell you?
No. I can't.
I don't know if you feel same.
*Smiles*
You are just so pretty inside and out,
I can't help but ruin what we have by telling you how I feel.

You would probably hate me, wouldn't you?
I mean, it's Nigeria,
It is very much expected i be despised for feeling such in the first place.

It's more like, I can never be truly me,
Even with you.

Let it stop here.
Words I write No more,
The feelings that I cannot even acknowledge as mine,
Out the window it goes.

© #milialate.4