you got me

So lost in love that I been looking for myself and I still can't find me. I've been asking everyone, and looking everywhere even looking in the mirror but there's no one there. It's like everything relevant to me has disappeared. But now we're here together so give me peace of mind, and give me back what's mine. I know I caught you by surprise I can see it in your eyes your astounded. I bet your feeling dazed and confused. You have every reason to feel the way that you do because until now you never thought that you could lose, in a game that you played so delicately. But It's like, why me? Anyway I'm happy that your here even if you don't want to be. So now that I have your undivided attention listen, I'm gonna spill my feel. You know speak my mind. First and foremost I knew you was doin me bad for a very long time. stupid girl that shit wasnt koo. But shame on me because I'm still playing the fool because I still got mad love for you and that's no lie. It just a lil different now that I seen passed the beautiful mask that reveled you true self. You wasn't who I thought you was. shit you was someone else. But I fell in love with that personality and Im falling for this someone else. And to make matters worst you decimated the trust I had for you the moment those lies you said to me came out your mouth. Yeah it took me a min to catch on but I knew somethin was a miss. Shit just starting feelin different whenever we would kiss. What happened to us baby I thought we was doin fine? I must have been walking with eyes wide shut cause now I know why they say love is blind. But dam baby I was so happy go lucky and content to walk the line. That's why I did my part, you on the other hand just played a role. What made things even more complex is that you convinced me to give to you my heart and I did that but what I don't understand is why did you steal my soul? If I was so imperfect to you. Why not let all of me go? Nah, you didn't do that. the only thing you've done is got me drunk in love, now here I am drunk driving with one Head light and a half a tank. fuck it! I'm gonna follow suit and do what you do best. You know run away. Again and again I'm just looking for someone like you who probably won't stay. It makes it easier for me to say that I'm ok even if I'm not. I have had enough time to reflect on my current situation and Id say it's fair to say that I'm dealing with mixed emotions and tainted thoughts. So I'm probably not gonna stop loving you or hynas like you.
I guess what it narrows down to is that I'm trying
to get through to you.
im hoping for the best cause
I done had the worst optimistic thinking is my
muthafucken curse. I'm a hopeless romantic when
I got it I'm frantic when I lose it I panic.
Not this
time my love. This time you get to see me walk away
with nothing left to say.
© Juan Blue demon Alvarez