#daysoflovingyou

I really wanted it to be you.

I really thought we were going to make it.

You walked away, and chose someone else.

No warnings, no closure, not bothered, just gone.

This is the first time, that I have opened this app for a very long time, and scrolling through my previous heartbreaks, I forgot how strong I was and how I got through all of them.

The heartbreak that I felt with you, I lost myself.

Eventually, I lost you. I lost a version of you, that I once knew. A version of you, that I thought was meant for me.

The relationship, was a chaos, I know. You realised it was, and you decided to take a path that didn't include me. You realised it before me, because I was battling within myself. Forcing and holding onto us.

If only things ended in a different way.
If only the break-up didn't happen this way.
If only you didn't walk away.
If only you apologised for the way you hurt me.


The disrespect.
The lies.
The blaming.
The empty promises.

Maybe, I don't need to cry every night, wondering if it was all my fault.

and then, maybe, I could have also sincerely apologised, for not being able to be the person that you needed.

I chased you, and begged you.

I am so numb right now, that the peace that I built before I met you was all gone.

I am struggling to heal from this pain that I know I didnt deserve. I am spending nights crying, and hurting, questioning my worth, where I went wrong...

while you found someone else so quickly.

The things that I begged for you to do for me, you provided to do it for another girl.

and most of all, I am struggling to love myself again.

-cece-







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