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Lost Light (Chapter One)


“Shawn, do you really have what it takes to die?”
Shawn looked over the edge of the fifteen story office building in Orion City. The late night traffic rushed through the streets in blurs of motion and light. As the wind howled through his shaggy brown hair, he quickly took a look over his shoulder at the being speaking to him. “Since when did you have a heart, Dark?”
The being stood behind him several feet back. It appeared to watch him calmly through dark red eyes, as its body shimmered in black substance. It was a shadow of energy that seemed to mirror Shawn’s appearance in every single way. It copied his 22 year old body down to the letter, with his baggy pants, punk rock band T-shirt, and even his dirty zip up hoodie that smelled like cat pee and a hint of taco sauce. Dark growled again at him in his deep and menacing voice. “Do you really think you have what it takes to die?”
Shawn looked back down to the traffic down below. It looked so peaceful from all the way up on the building’s ledge, and as he swung one foot over the side, he held onto the metal posts of a billboard that anchored him to the ideology of life in a physical and mental state. “Of course I do. This is what you’ve been wanting from me for years, isn’t it? Why shouldn’t I just do it already? There’s not a lot waiting for me back home.”
“Good.” Dark continued to urge him, as his eyes narrowed in pleasure. “Feed off the anger, Shawn. Live off it until you die from it. There’s nothing waiting for you on this planet anymore.”
Shawn gulped as he glanced over at the shimmering demon that blended into the night sky above them. Ever since he was a small child, Shawn had seen this demon that he called ‘Dark.’ Through all of the psychology appointments and therapy visits growing up, everyone diagnosed Shawn with major depressive disorder and a side order of schizophrenia. Dark was nothing more than a demon based off his own delusions and depressions surrounding his everyday life. Unfortunately for Shawn, he was also incredibly suicidal and acted on it several times. This wasn’t the first time he stood on the ledge of a building and looked over the edge for salvation. For freedom from the terrors of the outside world and everyone who lived in it.
What had brought him to this point, though? He thought to himself, as he balled his fists around the post.
He couldn’t think of a trigger this time. He had simply finished a long shift at work. The lumber yard had become a fast home to him over the past year as he started working there thanks to a buddy of his. It was a great job that paid well, and his body certainly had a love hate relationship with the physical exercise every single day. Nothing bad happened. Just your typical Tuesday.
What else is there?
Friends? No. Everyone he knew and cared about was doing great. Michelle and Jake were moving into a new apartment soon. His neighbor, Shelly, had finally got that job at the bakery that she had been talking about at the local book club lately. Even everyone on his social media presence seemed to be nothing short of perfect.
Family then, right? What about family?
Shawn was the third eldest child out of a family of seven kids. Most of his siblings lived scattered among the city, but all of them were busy leading successful and happy lives of their own. His youngest sister, Isabelle, had even engaged her girlfriend of three years last week. They had just started planning the party for this next Thursday and he had been very excited to attend it.
“Dark...why am I doing this?”
The being seemed physically disgruntled at the man’s question. “Why wouldn’t you do this, Shawn? This world is a horrible place filled with toxic poison and crime. Bad things happen every single day. Natural disasters. Disease. Destruction around every corner and in every city of the world. Death is the only escape from a prison like that. From a prison like life.”
He said the word as if it was a lemon on his tongue that caused his nerves to curl and sizzle away. Shawn took Dark’s words lightly. He was used to the being objectifying all of the negativity in life. It was his only job and he did it well. Doctors all over the country had tried helping Shawn as a youth get rid of the demon that only seemed to dwell inside of his mind. Medicine didn’t work. Therapy only made Dark angrier. Most things were just completely pointless and made the emotional pain that Dark always brought with him more and more vivid.
“Maybe...maybe we shouldn’t do this, Dark?” Shawn asked him, as he turned from the ledge. “This doesn’t seem like the best idea. Nothing’s wrong in my life. Everything seems to be great. How about we just go home and forget...