"I'm scared knowing myself and loving myself means others can't, or won't." This is a quote that sums up my feelings perfectly. Being Aromantic, I'm never going to have that fabled happy ending where the man kisses the woman as they ride off on a horse into the sunset. I don't want it for that matter. All I want, all I have ever wanted is to know and care for somebody and have them know and care for me in return. I want to be important to somebody, I want someone to care about where I am at 3:29 in the morning and to laugh at stupid inside jokes with. I want to belong. All my life I've never quite fit in, not with my family, my friends, my classmates, hell even with myself. Is it selfish to want to be loved knowing most of the world would take that sentence romantically? Is wanting to belong somewhere, even just once in my life, too much to ask? When I picture my future, I imagine someone there, someone to drink coffee with in the morning whilst enjoying a quiet sunrise. Someone to laugh with at stupid mistakes like accidentally wearing a shirt inside out. Someone to be with while we're crying randomly at 3 in the afternoon because we've been up for 37 hours straight and are loosing our minds. I don't want to be alone forever. I don't want to have to sacrifice my sense of self and my happiness just to have somebody to share my life with. I don't want to die alone, but I'm scared the alternative was never an option for me in the first place.
© .,.,