I Started drinking in my twenties.I used to drink on the weekends after a long week juggling between work and school. I would set my days on when to drink and to do what I have to do. I had a tight schedule. Morning to evening i was at work. Working as a customer service representative in a call center environment.

I would get off work around 4pm and drive to school. My classes would start from 6pm till 9pm.Three cruciating hours.

Weekends were my time to unwind alittle,relax and also do my schoolwork.

Once I graduated, I got a nice job, bought a house and life was fine. The parties started and along the way came a lot of friends too.

This is when I started drinking heavily on weekends and I found myself starting to drink during the week days also.

The partying got worse so did the drinking.

I ended up loosing my job and other things along the way. My life took a sad turn. I got even more deep on the drinking. My health was deteriorating.

Couple years went by.I was drinking heavily. I was a pain to my family and friends. I always needed money to quench my thirst for alcohol.

People would look down on me.Few felt sorry for me.Few made a laughing stock out of me.Few cared to give me few advises that just ended in the air. Few criticized me and yelled at me for drinking. Few took me for prayers.

Though I was a drunkard as some people had labeled me.The drunkard girl. Deep in me, I was so hurt. I felt the pain though my face didn’t paint that picture. My face painted a girl full of anger and disappointments.

My night times, I would pray to my God.Jehovah Yahweh. I tell him all my pain, anguish and struggle.I was a drunkard, but I would always pray. I would go listen to preachings whenever there was a seminar and for prayers. So many had prayed for me but I was just the same.Sometimes I would get even worse.But my Hopes were high, for a better me,eventhough my mind was telling me quitting drinking is almost impossible for me.My mind could not even perceive spending even an hour without a taste of alcohol in my mouth.

Then came a day.As usual, when I wake up in the morning I rush to the nearest street shop and get my drink. As soon as they open. I am there. That day, I went to the store. Early in the morning. I found the store open. I got my drink and sat down. Started drinking. So people would come to the store, buy bread or soda and other necessities for the morning. Some were going to work, some to school. But I was seating there drinking alcohol early in the morning. Sometime I would go before even taking a shower. Just to quench that thirst.I was a slave to alcohol.

That day, my conscious started coming back to me.I said to myself. One day,I wanna be able to go to the store and buy soda and drink. Not alcohol. I started so much to desire, to be like everybody else. Not waking up in the morning and start looking for alcohol. In my heart,I cried out to god, my heart was hurting. I so wished but I couldnt.I would see people buying soda,seat down and enjoy their drink and be happy. They were happy.I was like,why can’t i not be like them. I just couldn’t understand it.How did i let myself get so addicted to alcohol. I blamed myself.It was own fault.

Then, days went by.One day,I noticed that I haven’t been waking up at night to drink.I was actually sleeping well till sunrise. I usually had difficulties sleeping. But not anymore.So that was the first thing I had notice.

Next thing happened, I wasnt looking to go buy alcohol early in the morning.i didnt feel that thirst to drink that early in the morning.

And days went by,my thirst for alcohol had diminished tremendously.I found myself drinking less even during the day. I wasn’t thinking much about alcohol. One day I said to.myself,wait a minute.Now I'm drinking out of habit. Because I'm used to be drinking. I said, why do I keep drinking and I dont feel the thirst to drink.That was the beginning of everything.I said,I don’t feel thirst for alcohol so I don’t need to drink no more. I didnt have withdraw symptoms or none of that.

Days went by, weeks went by and months went by.

When you depend on god and cry out to him, he will definetly come through for you.And show up in a mighty way when you least expect it. No matter the situation or circumstance,god see our pain, he knows what we are going through. And most of all,he loves each one of us unconditionally. Once you sink that into your heart and mind, god will do amazing things for you that you never thought about before. He will do the impossible for you,and take that extra sacrificebwith you. He is never late nor too early, just on time for us.

When going through a storm weather be an addiction or financial difficulties or a strained relationship or any stubborn issue. Just focus on god.Dont let the mind be distracted or confused by your surroundings. Our God is the lion of judah,a mighty warrior,no situation or circumstance is too hard for him.

We are more than conquerors through him that loved us.

Never Give Up, Stay Strong, Have Faith and Believe.




© vivirjm