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Euphoria
#WritcoStoryPrompt60
Was there a point in your life that you wanted to stop, quit, and leave everything behind just to disappear to the point of changing and hiding your identity?
I believe reincarnation is undoubtedly what happens. I think we are souls or you could say spirits inside human bodies.
Few years back when I woke up I went into the kitchen to get something to drink and took a caffeine pill as I usually did. Shortly after that, I felt a very sharp pain right in the middle of my chest. I turned around to look at my sister as I opened my mouth and signalled that I needed something to drink as I couldn’t breathe with this unbearable pain.
As all this was happening I was looking toward my room and my vision went out. The way it went has been very clear to me to this day as it is a life-changing moment that I will never forget. All of my vision that I could see started to zoom out into a dark black tunnel, Then when it got to almost a millimetre in diameter it just burst into this fine horizontal line before all just vanished before me. What I felt was that something heavy and cold was evaporating from my physical body; I would describe the sensation like when you remove the nail paint and you feel the nail paint remover cold and heavy on your nails while it evaporates.
At this time now I know that my physical sight had been gone but it was as if I could still see unconsciously or perhaps kind of like an out-of-body experience. That is just when I turned towards the door. I could remember that all I was thinking was how I needed some fresh air. At this point, I took a step towards the open door, and that’s just when I had collapsed.
The experience then suddenly changed. I wasn’t dead, As my consciousness was still there, I wasn’t alive as I was no longer in my body. I was just simply being. I was an eternal force. An energy beyond explanation. It was like floating in the air.
I was no longer seeing the world — I wasn’t even seeing black. I was in a place bright as white. It was peaceful and perhaps heavenly.
The thing that I remembered the most was a sense of selfishness if I can truly put it into words. As I remembered my life, it didn’t have much feeling of worth any more. I felt like everything was perfect and just the way it should be.
In this state, I had no care, no compassion, no fear, no reason to want to come back to this life. not worried about family, not worried about missing them or the sadness they would feel. I was selfish and didn’t care, I didn’t even have feelings anymore. In all senses of the word, it was euphoria.
Throughout this entire ordeal, I did not see ghosts past family members or past friends. I didn't see God, I didn’t even see the Devil. There was no heaven or hell as far as I could tell..
All of a sudden it was like a bomb of awakening, I opened my eyes with confusion as to where I was, and I started to realize that I was looking at the floor with my drool falling to hit the floor. I was only about seven inches away from the floor and felt a bit more confused as I started to realize that I was coming back into my body.
This feeling of life suddenly changed as I realized I have a huge sensitivity all over. I had a migraine for a few weeks that I hadn’t even realised that I had suppressed. I had pain in my leg that I realised I had for the past week. I had a pain in my back that I only just realized I had for the past three days. It was amazing the heaviness I then felt I had to endure just to carry this body around every day.
At this time in my life, I was suddenly enlightened. I realised that life is all about pain and suffering. I have a clear understanding now that while we make our choices to try to find a better afterlife. It was now more clear.
I have never been religious before and I was not such a bad kid either... I was always finding flaws in the teaching of science and religion.
This experience has not made me to be much of a different person. I’m still a very morally ethical person. I am still not quite so religious. I’m still not an atheist or anything of the like. While my religious beliefs are complicated it would need an entire explanation for another time.
What I can say is that this experience has given me a bit of understanding that if there is a heaven and hell. Then this material life would be hell and the afterlife would be heaven, as it is euphoria.
Since then I have never feared death nor pain and I am always ready to go back. It’s a place of being. A place of knowledge. A place of wisdom. A place where there is no hate or even love.
© lonewolf
Was there a point in your life that you wanted to stop, quit, and leave everything behind just to disappear to the point of changing and hiding your identity?
I believe reincarnation is undoubtedly what happens. I think we are souls or you could say spirits inside human bodies.
Few years back when I woke up I went into the kitchen to get something to drink and took a caffeine pill as I usually did. Shortly after that, I felt a very sharp pain right in the middle of my chest. I turned around to look at my sister as I opened my mouth and signalled that I needed something to drink as I couldn’t breathe with this unbearable pain.
As all this was happening I was looking toward my room and my vision went out. The way it went has been very clear to me to this day as it is a life-changing moment that I will never forget. All of my vision that I could see started to zoom out into a dark black tunnel, Then when it got to almost a millimetre in diameter it just burst into this fine horizontal line before all just vanished before me. What I felt was that something heavy and cold was evaporating from my physical body; I would describe the sensation like when you remove the nail paint and you feel the nail paint remover cold and heavy on your nails while it evaporates.
At this time now I know that my physical sight had been gone but it was as if I could still see unconsciously or perhaps kind of like an out-of-body experience. That is just when I turned towards the door. I could remember that all I was thinking was how I needed some fresh air. At this point, I took a step towards the open door, and that’s just when I had collapsed.
The experience then suddenly changed. I wasn’t dead, As my consciousness was still there, I wasn’t alive as I was no longer in my body. I was just simply being. I was an eternal force. An energy beyond explanation. It was like floating in the air.
I was no longer seeing the world — I wasn’t even seeing black. I was in a place bright as white. It was peaceful and perhaps heavenly.
The thing that I remembered the most was a sense of selfishness if I can truly put it into words. As I remembered my life, it didn’t have much feeling of worth any more. I felt like everything was perfect and just the way it should be.
In this state, I had no care, no compassion, no fear, no reason to want to come back to this life. not worried about family, not worried about missing them or the sadness they would feel. I was selfish and didn’t care, I didn’t even have feelings anymore. In all senses of the word, it was euphoria.
Throughout this entire ordeal, I did not see ghosts past family members or past friends. I didn't see God, I didn’t even see the Devil. There was no heaven or hell as far as I could tell..
All of a sudden it was like a bomb of awakening, I opened my eyes with confusion as to where I was, and I started to realize that I was looking at the floor with my drool falling to hit the floor. I was only about seven inches away from the floor and felt a bit more confused as I started to realize that I was coming back into my body.
This feeling of life suddenly changed as I realized I have a huge sensitivity all over. I had a migraine for a few weeks that I hadn’t even realised that I had suppressed. I had pain in my leg that I realised I had for the past week. I had a pain in my back that I only just realized I had for the past three days. It was amazing the heaviness I then felt I had to endure just to carry this body around every day.
At this time in my life, I was suddenly enlightened. I realised that life is all about pain and suffering. I have a clear understanding now that while we make our choices to try to find a better afterlife. It was now more clear.
I have never been religious before and I was not such a bad kid either... I was always finding flaws in the teaching of science and religion.
This experience has not made me to be much of a different person. I’m still a very morally ethical person. I am still not quite so religious. I’m still not an atheist or anything of the like. While my religious beliefs are complicated it would need an entire explanation for another time.
What I can say is that this experience has given me a bit of understanding that if there is a heaven and hell. Then this material life would be hell and the afterlife would be heaven, as it is euphoria.
Since then I have never feared death nor pain and I am always ready to go back. It’s a place of being. A place of knowledge. A place of wisdom. A place where there is no hate or even love.
© lonewolf
