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Fright Night's Twilight Twirl
"Who are you Going to Call?"
Annie Potts
🖇️
"Somebody Else!*
Dan Ackroyd
👻 🚫
A #WRITCO Comedy Play
📜 🖊️
OLD
BUT NOT
OBSCENE
🌈 📖
(The curtains rise to reveal a dimly lit, cobweb-covered stage. The setting is a halfway haunted house, with monsters of yesteryear milling about, some leaning on crutches, others in wheelchairs. The walls are adorned with faded portraits of their former terrifying selves, and the floorboards creak with every shuffle and groan. The air is thick with the smell of stale popcorn and forgotten nightmares.)
**Woody Allen:** (Voiceover) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "Fright Night's Twilight Twirl," where the monsters have gone from spooky to spooky-ooky! And remember, in this house of horrors turned retirement home, the scariest thing might just be the Wi-Fi password.
**Count Chuckula:** (Standing by a punch bowl, holding a cup with a questionable red liquid) Ah, my dear friends, so nice to see everyone out for a night of... (pauses to throw up a mouthful of blood) ...festivities.
**Frankenstoner:** (Munching on a brownie, sitting in a corner) Hey Chuck, easy on the refreshments, man. You're gonna scare off the munchies. (Puffs on a pipe, causing smoke to swirl around his head)
**Casper the Ghost on a Bender:** (Swaying, holding an empty bottle) I've seen more sober days, I swear! (Tries to take a swig, then realizes it's empty, and floats over to the bar) Hey, barkeep! One more for the road to the grave!
**Freddy Chugger:** (With a mason jar filled with a murky liquid) Ah, the sweet taste of home brew. You know, I used to give people nightmares, but now I just give them heartburn.
**Jason Parodies:** (Standing in front of an easel, holding a pad) Alright, who's ready for some charades? (Pretends to stab the air)
**The Handyman:** (Candyman with a toolbox) I'm all for a good time, but I'd rather stick to fixing things up around here. Who knows what kind of mess you lot will make.
**Elvira Flasher in the Park:** (Adjusting her dress) Oh, bother! (Giggles) I can never keep this thing in check. It's like it has a mind of its own.
**Chucky the Goodbye Doll:** (In a high-pitched squeaky voice, waves goodbye to an invisible audience) Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!
**Woody Allen:** (Voiceover) And now, let's get this ghostly gala started before someone actually drops dead from old age. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present... your hosts for the evening, the charming and slightly alarming, Mr. and Mrs. Mummy!
**Mr. Mummy:** (Wrapped in bandages, speaking through a voice modulator) Welcome, welcome! I hope you've brought your own toilet paper. The plumbing in this joint is as ancient as we are!
**Mrs. Mummy:** (Draped in a tattered dress) Darling, don't scare them off. We need guests to keep our social security checks coming!
(The monsters laugh, a mix of coughs and wheezes filling the room. The stage lights flicker, setting the mood for a night of unexpected fun and frolic. As the music starts, the audience leans in, eager to see what these classic creeps have in store for them.)
**Mr. Mummy:** (To the audience) And now, let's get this party started with a little game of "Guess the Wrapping." Who can guess what's under my bandages? (Starts to unravel, revealing a Hawaiian shirt)
**Mrs. Mummy:** (Interrupting) Oh, darling, not again! That's the third time you've done that bit!
**Mr. Mummy:** (Chuckles) Well, I can't help it. I just love the look on their faces. (Turns to the audience) Did you guess it? It's a classic!
**Frankenstoner:** (Mumbling to himself) I don't get it. Why would anyone want to wear that under all that?
**Jason Parodies:** (Steps forward) How about a round of "Jason's Famous Faces"? (Pulls out a stack of charade cards) I've got some real spookers here!
**Elvira Flasher in the Park:** (Excitedly) Oh, I adore charades! It's so... wholesome.
(The monsters form a circle as Jason starts acting out the first charade. He mimes someone holding a chainsaw and then pretends to fall asleep.)
**Count Chuckula:** (Throws up a little) Oh, I know this one! It's... it's... (Pauses to wipe his mouth) "Sleeping with the Fishes" from "The Godfather"!
**Jason Parodies:** (Shakes his head) Nope. (Starts the next charade, acting out a dance and then a phone ringing)
**Chucky the Goodbye Doll:** (Suddenly) Goodbye! Goodbye!
**Casper the Ghost on a Bender:** (Slapping his knee) That's it! That's it! "Ghostbusters"!
**Jason Parodies:** (Nods) Yes! Yes, you got it!
(The audience claps and cheers. The Handyman rolls his eyes and opens his toolbox, pulling out a party hat.)
**The Handyman:** (Mumbling) If we're doing this, we're doing it right.
**Woody Allen:** (Voiceover) And now, a moment we've all been waiting for. The grand entrance of the Great Pumpkin himself!
(The stage goes dark,...
Annie Potts
🖇️
"Somebody Else!*
Dan Ackroyd
👻 🚫
A #WRITCO Comedy Play
📜 🖊️
OLD
BUT NOT
OBSCENE
🌈 📖
(The curtains rise to reveal a dimly lit, cobweb-covered stage. The setting is a halfway haunted house, with monsters of yesteryear milling about, some leaning on crutches, others in wheelchairs. The walls are adorned with faded portraits of their former terrifying selves, and the floorboards creak with every shuffle and groan. The air is thick with the smell of stale popcorn and forgotten nightmares.)
**Woody Allen:** (Voiceover) Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to "Fright Night's Twilight Twirl," where the monsters have gone from spooky to spooky-ooky! And remember, in this house of horrors turned retirement home, the scariest thing might just be the Wi-Fi password.
**Count Chuckula:** (Standing by a punch bowl, holding a cup with a questionable red liquid) Ah, my dear friends, so nice to see everyone out for a night of... (pauses to throw up a mouthful of blood) ...festivities.
**Frankenstoner:** (Munching on a brownie, sitting in a corner) Hey Chuck, easy on the refreshments, man. You're gonna scare off the munchies. (Puffs on a pipe, causing smoke to swirl around his head)
**Casper the Ghost on a Bender:** (Swaying, holding an empty bottle) I've seen more sober days, I swear! (Tries to take a swig, then realizes it's empty, and floats over to the bar) Hey, barkeep! One more for the road to the grave!
**Freddy Chugger:** (With a mason jar filled with a murky liquid) Ah, the sweet taste of home brew. You know, I used to give people nightmares, but now I just give them heartburn.
**Jason Parodies:** (Standing in front of an easel, holding a pad) Alright, who's ready for some charades? (Pretends to stab the air)
**The Handyman:** (Candyman with a toolbox) I'm all for a good time, but I'd rather stick to fixing things up around here. Who knows what kind of mess you lot will make.
**Elvira Flasher in the Park:** (Adjusting her dress) Oh, bother! (Giggles) I can never keep this thing in check. It's like it has a mind of its own.
**Chucky the Goodbye Doll:** (In a high-pitched squeaky voice, waves goodbye to an invisible audience) Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!
**Woody Allen:** (Voiceover) And now, let's get this ghostly gala started before someone actually drops dead from old age. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present... your hosts for the evening, the charming and slightly alarming, Mr. and Mrs. Mummy!
**Mr. Mummy:** (Wrapped in bandages, speaking through a voice modulator) Welcome, welcome! I hope you've brought your own toilet paper. The plumbing in this joint is as ancient as we are!
**Mrs. Mummy:** (Draped in a tattered dress) Darling, don't scare them off. We need guests to keep our social security checks coming!
(The monsters laugh, a mix of coughs and wheezes filling the room. The stage lights flicker, setting the mood for a night of unexpected fun and frolic. As the music starts, the audience leans in, eager to see what these classic creeps have in store for them.)
**Mr. Mummy:** (To the audience) And now, let's get this party started with a little game of "Guess the Wrapping." Who can guess what's under my bandages? (Starts to unravel, revealing a Hawaiian shirt)
**Mrs. Mummy:** (Interrupting) Oh, darling, not again! That's the third time you've done that bit!
**Mr. Mummy:** (Chuckles) Well, I can't help it. I just love the look on their faces. (Turns to the audience) Did you guess it? It's a classic!
**Frankenstoner:** (Mumbling to himself) I don't get it. Why would anyone want to wear that under all that?
**Jason Parodies:** (Steps forward) How about a round of "Jason's Famous Faces"? (Pulls out a stack of charade cards) I've got some real spookers here!
**Elvira Flasher in the Park:** (Excitedly) Oh, I adore charades! It's so... wholesome.
(The monsters form a circle as Jason starts acting out the first charade. He mimes someone holding a chainsaw and then pretends to fall asleep.)
**Count Chuckula:** (Throws up a little) Oh, I know this one! It's... it's... (Pauses to wipe his mouth) "Sleeping with the Fishes" from "The Godfather"!
**Jason Parodies:** (Shakes his head) Nope. (Starts the next charade, acting out a dance and then a phone ringing)
**Chucky the Goodbye Doll:** (Suddenly) Goodbye! Goodbye!
**Casper the Ghost on a Bender:** (Slapping his knee) That's it! That's it! "Ghostbusters"!
**Jason Parodies:** (Nods) Yes! Yes, you got it!
(The audience claps and cheers. The Handyman rolls his eyes and opens his toolbox, pulling out a party hat.)
**The Handyman:** (Mumbling) If we're doing this, we're doing it right.
**Woody Allen:** (Voiceover) And now, a moment we've all been waiting for. The grand entrance of the Great Pumpkin himself!
(The stage goes dark,...
