One night, I woke up from a terrible dream. I was just a kid, not aware of the outside world much. If I could put myself in a box in one world, I would say that I was naive. I put my full trust in the world; I was pure and good. In the dream, I was sitting in some dressing room. I heard voices that told me I am a monster. From that night, I was scared to sleep. I believe this dream caused my insomnia for a long time. I was different from that moment. Insomnia slowly started to eat me alive. Sometimes I just wished that I could actually sleep, and in one moment, I did not want to. My dreams tortured me a lot. The ambivalence of my dreaming set me into two parts: the dark part and the light one. You can call it a bipolar life. It has been more than 20 years since I had the dream. It still scares me. Maybe the truth scares me the most. I was actually a monster. The fact is more scary than the consequence.

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