I tried really hard to make my mind to write bout this. Its not like that i want sympathy from you guys, but i just want to tell what the truth is. So here it goes..

Dear Maa,
As you know that i am a nurse ("so called"). I never wanted to be in this profession. I hated it like damn. I cant explain the level of hate i had towards it. To be precise, it was something in which i never ever wanted to make my future. But then after seeing my 12th results, i felt so hopeless that i had no guts to face you. I almost planned to run away but your innocent face came in mind and i didnt took that step. I was so much depressed that i felt like to quit my life because i knew i cant make you feel happy. And that was when you came with this option. My heart was screaming on the top of its voice that i should not go for this. But i literally dont know what happened to me and after seeing your face, i said- 'Sure, Maa.. i will do it'. Even today i regret for saying that. And then the hell life started. Though i am almost in the last step of this profession. And now when our family members and relatives meet me and they say that its like yesterday when i joined but i only know how damn my days went.

I still remember how i encouraged my mates there and at the same night on my bed i used to cried like hell. I took all the tablets in my hand and planned to take it but then again your face appeared in my mind and i never did that again. The crap language problem i faced there. How badly people used to make taunt and laughed at me. In our phone timings when others used to cry and speak to their parents, i never said what i underwent and spoke very normally. And how badly i hated to be that normal. I hated entering those hospital premises and i used to sob secretly. To go away from you, itself was really terrible for me. Maa, you know how much i love my sleep that i dont even skip a single second of itand during boards also i was the same. I don't know you will believe it or not but in this profession, there were 1000s of days when i never slept and had to take pills for headache. Sorry for not telling you this. There are many more to it. I still hate those days but to remember all this now, i use to laugh. Yet i feel blessed to have you who made me choose this profession. Yeah, now also its difficult for me to accept it but i learned many life lessons from it. Thank u Maa.

Love,
Your Mol

#judypens
#giaclicks
#writersdiary
Thank u so much to @hobigirl.bts
for this challenge that i was able to write my heart out.

"Sad part is that again i have to undergo all this but now i am stronger than yesterday."

© jessj