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Psychology from a Psychotic Maniac
Confidence is a few things, let us cover some. Someone who is confident could be seen as someone who will take charge when needed, someone who can approach any situation without doubt of their abilities, or even someone who makes up answers without actually knowing if they are true or not. Fear is arguably the opposite of confidence. Is it though? What causes fear isn't the opposite of what causes confidence. Can you even cause confidence? Or is it hereditary? Can we throttle confidence, or is it a toggle? I think it's a toggle, either you're confident, or you're not. You can't be "kind of" confident. Most would disagree, but words are words, and confidence had a definition, and that would be, "A feeling or consciousness of one's powers or of reliance on one's circumstances", which is the Merriam-Webster definition, which I could argue all day with whoever writes their definitions, or from Oxford, "A belief and an assurance in one's own abilities (self-confidence) or the abilities of another", which to me is a little more accurate, even though I could argue with them just as much. I would define it as "The assurance of one's ability". Fear is caused by an emotional trigger, or repetitive experience, like not knowing the unknown, and is triggered by a subjective perspective. What I'm trying to get at is, you can have confidence, and fear. Doubt would be the best runner-up for being the opposite of confidence. Having doubt in yourself would be more accurate.
What is a good balance in your life? Like, food you enjoy vs. food that is healthy for you. Would you sacrifice enjoyment for health? Or would you sacrifice good health for some enjoyment. Eating healthy is a tricky one, because you can eat healthy and sit on the side wishing for that chocolate bar, or you can just have the chocolate bar. For a quick mind experiment, imagine this. You're sat down at a table with the choice of the same healthy salad that has everything you need for nutrition, and that's all you can have for the rest of your guaranteed long life but suffer from the want of something else to eat, or the choice of that exact salad along a choice of any side you wish, except Everytime you have a side dish, it shaves off a day of your life. Would you rather suffer from wanting more than what you have, or live a shorter life that is more enjoyable? Quantity against quality scenario. Now let's take the same scenario and add a layer. If you don't choose, or choose a side dish stays the same, but now you're in a solitary confinement room, and every time you leave, you shave off a day for every hour you're not in the room, but the room has clean water, free food, and everything to keep you physically healthy. Basically what I'm getting at is finding the balance with drastic measures. You don't need to be 100% healthy. You just need to be happy with your life, well, you don't need to be happy, but it definitely would make your life easier.
I had a pretty good grasp on what I thought existence was, until I spent an entire year eating large amounts of lsd, and now I see it's on a whole new level. Note that I've been sober for 16 months now, so I'm not delving into it anymore, but it was worth it. Acid isn't for everyone, but it definitely molded my ideology of today. I used it to meditate, not get high, I mean, the first few times was to get high, but I shortly found out just how powerful this tool was. When you use this tool correctly, or what some of us would consider correctly, you can pry that third eye open and see the fabrics of the ground you stand on in a new perspective, and if you're lucky and can handle a deep deep dive into the realm, you can see the fabrics of reality at its core. Clairvoyance at a maximum level, or to what it seems. I've found my peace, I seen the pinnacle of existence. You can believe I was just really high, but it's not about the high, all the answers come to you in this perspective. But I did appreciate the high while I was there, like, why waste it? You get the euphoria and visuals, so turn on some good instrumental music and close your eyes and enjoy the lift off, because the ramp into the peak is a ride, and you might as well buckle up and enjoy the 3 to 4 hours it takes to get there, and then meditate for the next 4 hours. Lsd is not bad, it's not unhealthy, it can't hurt you, only you can hurt you, but you can do that sober. Take 2 days and set them aside for the entire experience. My weekend ritual was, get home at 6 on Friday, eat 8 tabs of acid, take a shower, eat super, pour myself a stiff rum to settle myself in for takeoff. Then I'd lay down as it starts to kick in and I'd eat 4 more tabs and get ready to smash through that wall, turn up the volume to some psytrance music, and go for a trip into the realm. I wouldn't sleep until Saturday night and I would take it easy all day Sunday, which would also include a quart of rum, so I could chill my mind out, because lsd at that dose will most definitely last uo to 40 hours. Then back to work for Monday, clean as a whistle. Come Friday, I would repeat, and I did this for a year straight.
There's a few ideas of what the third eye is, and to me, it's understanding the difference between subjective and objective reality. Once you understand this completely, you have your third eye pried open. Nihilism is a foundationto this, nothing actually has any actual meaning or reason, everything you look at is based off your bias and creates how you feel about it. But that feeling is yours and yours only, and when you die, that subjective view dies too. No longer seen that way, it voids the feeling, except, someone else could also feel the same, so we need to assume everything can be every subjective view. However, these feeling are only withing you and maybe others. These feelings take up no space, and are not objective in any way. One thing is for sure, and that is objects vibrate, everything else is subjective. Even color is subjective, due to the energy, and speed it moves at the color can change for the eye seeing it. Light changes color depending on whether it's coming towards you or away from you, for instance, a star traveling towards us appears blue where a star that is traveling away from us is red. Even the speed of light is subjective, because depending of where you stand, the speed of relativity changes due to gravity and density, creating a different speed of light, but only from an outside perspective. The speed of light doesn't change in the area it is traveling, but from am outside point in which the gravity density is different, it would appear to be slower or faster. We have super voids in the universe, and they have a mass amount of space compared to other areas, meaning large empty areas with little to no stars. These super voids have very little gravity or density, so light can travel faster though them, which changes the speed of relativity, which makes the void bigger than the boarder around it. Imagine holding a ball, the surface is the border, and now imagine the inside is actually bigger than the surface. This is how super voids work. This is actually how wormholes exist. If you were to travel out of a super void in a single direction, and then move along the border for a bit, and then travel straight back in, you would be in a completely different area than if you were to travel the exact same distance, but only in the void, due to the amount of space that was stretched from rhe density changing. I'm not sure what this is called, but I call it space dilation. And these are just examples of how many things can be subjective. So, given that the definition of a word should mean "toggled at full", a fully pried third eye would be my idea of enlightenment, where is that line? Is objective reality also subjective?
So to conclude today's short story, what is it? Is everything real, or is everything fake? Are we a dream of someone, or do we stand on the ground that is beneath our feet?
Your existence is up to you, you are the center of it after all.
© Envelope Penelope
What is a good balance in your life? Like, food you enjoy vs. food that is healthy for you. Would you sacrifice enjoyment for health? Or would you sacrifice good health for some enjoyment. Eating healthy is a tricky one, because you can eat healthy and sit on the side wishing for that chocolate bar, or you can just have the chocolate bar. For a quick mind experiment, imagine this. You're sat down at a table with the choice of the same healthy salad that has everything you need for nutrition, and that's all you can have for the rest of your guaranteed long life but suffer from the want of something else to eat, or the choice of that exact salad along a choice of any side you wish, except Everytime you have a side dish, it shaves off a day of your life. Would you rather suffer from wanting more than what you have, or live a shorter life that is more enjoyable? Quantity against quality scenario. Now let's take the same scenario and add a layer. If you don't choose, or choose a side dish stays the same, but now you're in a solitary confinement room, and every time you leave, you shave off a day for every hour you're not in the room, but the room has clean water, free food, and everything to keep you physically healthy. Basically what I'm getting at is finding the balance with drastic measures. You don't need to be 100% healthy. You just need to be happy with your life, well, you don't need to be happy, but it definitely would make your life easier.
I had a pretty good grasp on what I thought existence was, until I spent an entire year eating large amounts of lsd, and now I see it's on a whole new level. Note that I've been sober for 16 months now, so I'm not delving into it anymore, but it was worth it. Acid isn't for everyone, but it definitely molded my ideology of today. I used it to meditate, not get high, I mean, the first few times was to get high, but I shortly found out just how powerful this tool was. When you use this tool correctly, or what some of us would consider correctly, you can pry that third eye open and see the fabrics of the ground you stand on in a new perspective, and if you're lucky and can handle a deep deep dive into the realm, you can see the fabrics of reality at its core. Clairvoyance at a maximum level, or to what it seems. I've found my peace, I seen the pinnacle of existence. You can believe I was just really high, but it's not about the high, all the answers come to you in this perspective. But I did appreciate the high while I was there, like, why waste it? You get the euphoria and visuals, so turn on some good instrumental music and close your eyes and enjoy the lift off, because the ramp into the peak is a ride, and you might as well buckle up and enjoy the 3 to 4 hours it takes to get there, and then meditate for the next 4 hours. Lsd is not bad, it's not unhealthy, it can't hurt you, only you can hurt you, but you can do that sober. Take 2 days and set them aside for the entire experience. My weekend ritual was, get home at 6 on Friday, eat 8 tabs of acid, take a shower, eat super, pour myself a stiff rum to settle myself in for takeoff. Then I'd lay down as it starts to kick in and I'd eat 4 more tabs and get ready to smash through that wall, turn up the volume to some psytrance music, and go for a trip into the realm. I wouldn't sleep until Saturday night and I would take it easy all day Sunday, which would also include a quart of rum, so I could chill my mind out, because lsd at that dose will most definitely last uo to 40 hours. Then back to work for Monday, clean as a whistle. Come Friday, I would repeat, and I did this for a year straight.
There's a few ideas of what the third eye is, and to me, it's understanding the difference between subjective and objective reality. Once you understand this completely, you have your third eye pried open. Nihilism is a foundationto this, nothing actually has any actual meaning or reason, everything you look at is based off your bias and creates how you feel about it. But that feeling is yours and yours only, and when you die, that subjective view dies too. No longer seen that way, it voids the feeling, except, someone else could also feel the same, so we need to assume everything can be every subjective view. However, these feeling are only withing you and maybe others. These feelings take up no space, and are not objective in any way. One thing is for sure, and that is objects vibrate, everything else is subjective. Even color is subjective, due to the energy, and speed it moves at the color can change for the eye seeing it. Light changes color depending on whether it's coming towards you or away from you, for instance, a star traveling towards us appears blue where a star that is traveling away from us is red. Even the speed of light is subjective, because depending of where you stand, the speed of relativity changes due to gravity and density, creating a different speed of light, but only from an outside perspective. The speed of light doesn't change in the area it is traveling, but from am outside point in which the gravity density is different, it would appear to be slower or faster. We have super voids in the universe, and they have a mass amount of space compared to other areas, meaning large empty areas with little to no stars. These super voids have very little gravity or density, so light can travel faster though them, which changes the speed of relativity, which makes the void bigger than the boarder around it. Imagine holding a ball, the surface is the border, and now imagine the inside is actually bigger than the surface. This is how super voids work. This is actually how wormholes exist. If you were to travel out of a super void in a single direction, and then move along the border for a bit, and then travel straight back in, you would be in a completely different area than if you were to travel the exact same distance, but only in the void, due to the amount of space that was stretched from rhe density changing. I'm not sure what this is called, but I call it space dilation. And these are just examples of how many things can be subjective. So, given that the definition of a word should mean "toggled at full", a fully pried third eye would be my idea of enlightenment, where is that line? Is objective reality also subjective?
So to conclude today's short story, what is it? Is everything real, or is everything fake? Are we a dream of someone, or do we stand on the ground that is beneath our feet?
Your existence is up to you, you are the center of it after all.
© Envelope Penelope
