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Continued... Humility
Humility
I can only speak about humility based on 1st hand experiance. I lost a fist fight with a guy who barely beat me. For the sake of everyone's stomach's reading this; I won't go into why I quit. I didn't have a scratch on me. There was a small pimple like lump by my nose. I gave himn16 Stiches under his right eye. Yet, I quit if you could the imagine the severity of my situation. It was the first time I had ever quit anything. I coukd give you a million excuses as to why I had the clear disadvantage in the fight; but it doesn't change anything that really happened. I had a hard time accepting that loss. So I called his brother in law who was also my friend; and insisted on another stupid fight. It was a fluke and this guy wasn't shit. I hyped myself up so much. I thought I had so set of balls on me. This guy was either going to not want to fight again. Truth be told it was the outcome I was hoping for. Or he was going to seriously injure me because he took the fight to lightly and this time he was going to finish the job. I thought about what I would look like with my nose all smashed sideways and missing teeth. I started to regret my descision after a few days. Then my friend called me back with some unexpected news. And as unexpected as it was it was just as sad at the same time.
The opponent was not going to fight me again. Part if me was releaved by that. He wouldn't be able to because he had died the night before. There was a fight for one reason or another. Some weopons came into play and he was murdered. Stabbed to death in the neck so many times his head was almost detached. My next emotion running through my brain was shock. That had never happened to anyone I've ever met before. In fact nobody I had ever met had died in a really long time. When I was 8 I watched as a kid from my neighborhood died in front of me. Heart complications. I still don't think I had much if a grasp. This really bothered me for a few reasons. Some out of pure human mourning for the tragic death of another human being. How I know that he left behind a pregnent girlfriend and their unborn child. Hownhisnhrother in law's last words to him where probably " hey that Ryan kid wants to fight again." Then another feeling if anger came over me because I wouldn't get my rematch. As fucked up as that sounds thats just my shadow. I know it and I own it. Then the relization that it coukd have been me getting stabbed to death or hit with a blunt object till I'm dying in the middle of the street. This guy coukd have easily ended my life. He was fresh out of county or what was known as Gladiator School. No one walked out of county unscaved unless they had protection going in. It hadn't dawned in me right then and there that this was serious adult shut that I was in. I realized I wasn't as tough as I thought. I study peooles movemnets when I'm in a confrintation. I watch to see if thier leg goes bends and moves backwards to set up a punch or kick. I watch tge movment in thier shoulders to predict what hand they are and wich arm is about to come up , swing, or punch straight like a jab. Most important but most difficult at the same time I watch the eyes. They tend to dictate where your oppenent's body will move next. It becomes a chess game when you realize you don't have to be a mindless barbarian to win a fight.
Well when some ine breaks out a weopon, it becaimes a whole other ball game. Thats what I believed would have happened next. Bodily harm for sure. I wouldn't put it past a person whis done time to use a small shiv of some sort. Why not? Given the opportunity to dissect some one because they had gotten to me that bad is somthing I can see me doing. I have bought a knife to a fight before. I almost foolishly used it. I was too much of a prettyboy and not physically strong enough to handle juvi or county. I'm trying to end this in an ok note and not such a sad one so please bear with me.
His death was a blessing and curse at the same time, for a few reasons. Lets tally it up.
1. I coukd have lost the same exact way I lost the first time.
2. He coukd have beat me with just a little more aggression then I look like the dick head for wanting to fight again.
3. He could have killed me
I'm not gonna lie I cried. This thing showed me for the first time that I could feel sorrow for the loss of a life and the future of the child involved. It saddened me to the core. My gut hurt while I wept. I called his girl and immediately expressed my deepest sympathies and how horrible I felt that we had fought each other. She really didn't know what to say. We have not spoken since. I learned that I coukd be vulnerable with another person. I learned that how miniscule my life actually was because I was so close to possibly loosing it.. I was humbled.
I can only speak about humility based on 1st hand experiance. I lost a fist fight with a guy who barely beat me. For the sake of everyone's stomach's reading this; I won't go into why I quit. I didn't have a scratch on me. There was a small pimple like lump by my nose. I gave himn16 Stiches under his right eye. Yet, I quit if you could the imagine the severity of my situation. It was the first time I had ever quit anything. I coukd give you a million excuses as to why I had the clear disadvantage in the fight; but it doesn't change anything that really happened. I had a hard time accepting that loss. So I called his brother in law who was also my friend; and insisted on another stupid fight. It was a fluke and this guy wasn't shit. I hyped myself up so much. I thought I had so set of balls on me. This guy was either going to not want to fight again. Truth be told it was the outcome I was hoping for. Or he was going to seriously injure me because he took the fight to lightly and this time he was going to finish the job. I thought about what I would look like with my nose all smashed sideways and missing teeth. I started to regret my descision after a few days. Then my friend called me back with some unexpected news. And as unexpected as it was it was just as sad at the same time.
The opponent was not going to fight me again. Part if me was releaved by that. He wouldn't be able to because he had died the night before. There was a fight for one reason or another. Some weopons came into play and he was murdered. Stabbed to death in the neck so many times his head was almost detached. My next emotion running through my brain was shock. That had never happened to anyone I've ever met before. In fact nobody I had ever met had died in a really long time. When I was 8 I watched as a kid from my neighborhood died in front of me. Heart complications. I still don't think I had much if a grasp. This really bothered me for a few reasons. Some out of pure human mourning for the tragic death of another human being. How I know that he left behind a pregnent girlfriend and their unborn child. Hownhisnhrother in law's last words to him where probably " hey that Ryan kid wants to fight again." Then another feeling if anger came over me because I wouldn't get my rematch. As fucked up as that sounds thats just my shadow. I know it and I own it. Then the relization that it coukd have been me getting stabbed to death or hit with a blunt object till I'm dying in the middle of the street. This guy coukd have easily ended my life. He was fresh out of county or what was known as Gladiator School. No one walked out of county unscaved unless they had protection going in. It hadn't dawned in me right then and there that this was serious adult shut that I was in. I realized I wasn't as tough as I thought. I study peooles movemnets when I'm in a confrintation. I watch to see if thier leg goes bends and moves backwards to set up a punch or kick. I watch tge movment in thier shoulders to predict what hand they are and wich arm is about to come up , swing, or punch straight like a jab. Most important but most difficult at the same time I watch the eyes. They tend to dictate where your oppenent's body will move next. It becomes a chess game when you realize you don't have to be a mindless barbarian to win a fight.
Well when some ine breaks out a weopon, it becaimes a whole other ball game. Thats what I believed would have happened next. Bodily harm for sure. I wouldn't put it past a person whis done time to use a small shiv of some sort. Why not? Given the opportunity to dissect some one because they had gotten to me that bad is somthing I can see me doing. I have bought a knife to a fight before. I almost foolishly used it. I was too much of a prettyboy and not physically strong enough to handle juvi or county. I'm trying to end this in an ok note and not such a sad one so please bear with me.
His death was a blessing and curse at the same time, for a few reasons. Lets tally it up.
1. I coukd have lost the same exact way I lost the first time.
2. He coukd have beat me with just a little more aggression then I look like the dick head for wanting to fight again.
3. He could have killed me
I'm not gonna lie I cried. This thing showed me for the first time that I could feel sorrow for the loss of a life and the future of the child involved. It saddened me to the core. My gut hurt while I wept. I called his girl and immediately expressed my deepest sympathies and how horrible I felt that we had fought each other. She really didn't know what to say. We have not spoken since. I learned that I coukd be vulnerable with another person. I learned that how miniscule my life actually was because I was so close to possibly loosing it.. I was humbled.
