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Divided
I'm divided and its proving hard for me to hide it. I tried so many times to move on, but my heart stuck to the same want. I move on with my lips yet my feet sit and won't lift from this divided glitch. Internally I'm confuse - why this my mind find so hard to choose. So many time i lose playing the fool as my progress moving forward still not improve. My thoughts sicken as I see in a distance the end, yet I haven't begin. I want to become this; but the page won't flip - it seems on this chapter I'm stitched.

From adolescent I wanted to join the military - i fell in love with their disciplinary front though it kinda scary. But now I'm a visionary training to become a missionary.
This newly found path has put my childhood desire secondary. Yet ever so often my ponderous vision have left my decision blurry.

Time has lapse, but I won't soon forgot because regrets so often gave me a slap for turning my back on my childhood plot.
My sight often remains me of what could've been if I kiss the lips of sin, but this time the devil won't win.
When you know what's right, yet still you chose to do the wrong - you betray not only your morals, but the values of the one who set those standards. And I believe deeply in this cause, because in the future this will bring an end to all wars.
You can't serve two masters the good book exclaimed. So i must choose Him or worldly fame - i want to take away myself from the pain and hopefully in the future time echoes great things to my name.

With one i must remain and that is what causes confusion to my brain, because i love them both the same...maybe that's a little strange.
But now I need to pull away from this strain, and clear my name from all broken shame that plague so tirelessly my brain.

I would like to become an army personnel, but what goes with that job description is for you to kill at command. On the other hand, my passion is to teach people how to live in peace with each other. And the two can't be done by the same vessle, because they blatantly conflicts with each others interest. Therefore, within me both ideology can't live. So I must choose one and with the consequences i shall live.


© Lil Kryz